A Life So Changed
by TheTragedyIs13
Summary: This takes place their sixth year. Hermione is Snape's assistant and...yeah. She realizes there's a different side to him than she originally thought. R&R please! NO ROMANCE BETWEEN THESE TWO.
1. Chapter 1

**Yes, yes, I know. It's completely different than my Ron and Hermione fic. But I sort of have a guilty pleasure for reading these. I don't know why, but I do. I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not J.K.**

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"Do watch where you're going, Granger."

I blushed furiously as I bent to gather my fallen books I had just gotten from Diagon Alley.

"Sorry, Professor," I muttered. He brushed past, his black cloak billowing out behind him.

I stood just as Ginny rounded the corner, her own arms laden with books and new robes.

"What's up with you?" Ginny asked as I opened the door. I let her go first and I followed.

"I ran into Snape," I said, shutting the door behind me. I dumped my books on to my bed and sank onto the bed.

"As in…literally ran into Snape?" Ginny asked, hands on her hips and eyebrows high.

I nodded.

Ginny let out a low whistled and hopped onto her own bed. "Good thing we aren't in school or you'd have had detention for a month!"  
I cringed. Detention? For a month? With _Snape_? I shuddered again.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Ginny said, "Mum wanted me to tell you that McGonagall wants to talk to you. They're in the kitchen."

I got up, nodded, and left, taking my time as I walked down the stairs of Grimmauld Place, looking at all the beheaded house-elves on the wall. It was disgusting, seeing them hung up like that. The current one should've been up there a long time ago. Or so Ron said. But it didn't matter, Kreature was missing in any case. Probably still with Bellatrix. I just wished he hadn't betrayed Sirius.

But then again, I also couldn't exactly blame him. Kreature was nice to people who were nice to him, and Sirius was far from nice to Kreature. Dumbledore warned us to be nice to Kreature, and I guess he was right. As always.

I sighed and pushed open the door to the kitchen and found Professor McGonagall standing with her back to me as she stood over the roaring fire, a silver goblet in her hand. Mrs. Weasley bustled around, preparing dinner.

"Miss Granger," McGonagall greeted me. "Please sit. I wish to discuss something with you."

I took a seat and she sat across from me, setting her goblet beside her.

"Miss Granger," she said again, leaning on her elbows, "Professor Snape is in dire need of an assistant for a potion he must make. I do not know what potion it is, so do not ask me. What is more, he wishes you to be his assistant. It would also be for the full year, not a mere few weeks or months. It would cut into your studies and free time, as well."

"But..why?" I blurted out and hten I felt myself redden.

McGonagall gave me a rare smile and said, "Because you would be on hand at all times, he would not have to get accommodations for you, and it would be free for him, as you would require no pay. And because you are the only one capable of such things."

I frowned. Me? Work for Snape? He had never made it a secret of his dislike for me, the whole school knew he did not like me, always calling me and "insufferable know-it-all".

"Miss Granger, are you up for the task at hand?" McGonagall asked, cutting into my thoughts.

Well, I would learn so much about potions. More than I could ever dare dream. But I would be holed up for hours on end with Snape, the Dungeon Bat. And for a whole year at that.

"I am," I replied, my voice sounding stronger than I felt.

"We start the day classes begin," came Snape's voice from behind me, causing me to jump. "No dawdling, Miss Granger. You are to tell no one of what you are doing besides helping me with a potion, understand? I expect to see you at seven o'clock sharp."

He left and I sighed.

What have I gotten myself into?

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	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do not make a profit from this.**

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"His assistant?" Ron asked as Crookshanks leapt onto his bed. Hedwig and Pig hooted softly from their perch atop the wardrobe.

"Yes," I replied. "I…I don't know what I was thinking."

"Maybe you can help us with Potions, then," Ron said hopefully. "I mean, you'll be learning from Snape! You'll know loads more! All the secrets and everything! I mean…c'mon!"

I frowned. "Ron, we've been learning from Snape for the past five years. What will make this year any different?"

Ron shrugged. "I dunno."

I smirked as Harry, who wasn't paying attention to our conversation, said, "So what was Malfoy up to in the Knockturn Alley today? It was odd, wasn't it?"

"Oh, Harry, drop it," I said crossly.

"But Hermione, did you say you saw -?"  
"I don't know what I saw," I said flatly. "Harry, he's as much a Death Eater as Dumbledore is. Now, please, drop it."

Harry looked away, angry. Then he sighed resignedly and said, "So why are we here and not the Burrow?"

"Mum reckons we're being watched," Ron told us, "so we moved in here."

"Well, I reckon she's right," Harry said. "When d'you get here?"

"A few weeks ago."

He nodded and we were quiet a moment.

Harry had been opposed to coming here, and I can hardly doubt why. After all, this was where Sirius had been living. Mrs. Weasley offered to clean Sirius's room for him, but Harry said that it was alright and that he'd just bunk with Ron. He had come late last night, after we'd all gone to bed.

"Oh, Hermione," Harry said suddenly. Mine and Ron's heads snapped up. "Dumbledore said that our O.W.L. scores should be coming in today."

I jumped up and raced downstairs to find Mr. and Mrs. Weasley talking quietly in the kitchen.

"Something's not right, Molly," I heard Mr. Weasley say. "Why would he need an assistant? What is he doing that needs that much help? And a sixth year, nonetheless."

"I don't know, Arthur," Mrs. Weasley said, worry thick in her voice. "But whatever it is, we have to trust him. Albus trusts him, so should we."

Mr. Weasley sighed. "I don't know."

There was the sound of soft clinking and I back away.

They didn't trust him. Then again, not many did. He used to be a Death Eater who came back over to our side just after Voldemort's fall. Why? What was it that made him change his mind?

Instead of going back upstairs, I headed to the drawing room where I found it wasn't empty.

"Miss Granger, have you ever heard of such a thing as knocking?" Snape asked quietly from his seat in a leather chair by the fire.

"I-I'm sorry, sir," I muttered, backing out.

"If you're here for a book, I won't pester you," he said coldly. "But do not make any loud noises. I like to read in silence."

I walked in and began searching the titles on the shelves, but my curiosity got the better of me.

"Professor, why me?" I asked him, turning to face him.

He looked up, his black eyes boring into mine.

"What _are_ you talking about, Granger?"

"Why do you need me to be your assistant? Why not ask someone else?" I asked.

He closed his book with a snap and laid it aside. He intertwined his fingers in his lap and looked at me. "Because, Miss Granger, the whole school, aside from you, are complete dunderheads and I cannot afford to pay some stranger to be my assistant. Does that answer your question?"

Not really. "Yes."

He opened his book again but then I said, "Why doesn't anyone trust you."

He let out a vehement sigh and tossed the book aside. "Because, Miss Granger, I suppose it is because I was once a Death Eater who would kill innocent Muggles and people in general for the Dark Lord. I helped torture many, many people, something I am not proud of. Now…do you have any more absurd questions?"

I shook my head quickly and hurried for the door.

"I'm sorry I disturbed you, Professor," I said as I edged out of the room.

I heard him mutter, "I am too."

Before I left, I looked behind me at the man reading silently by the fire and said, before I lost my courage, "For the record, I've always trusted you."

I closed the door softly behind me and made my way back to the kitchen.

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**For the record...these will not always be so short. And to the reviewers I've had, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! Haha! I love reviews!**

**Anyways...it may be a bit before I can update again. But I hope the chapter's good!**

**-LovelyAlice831-**


	3. Chapter 3

**I should add in here that I have a Snape point of view. Any time you see a line break, it will be a change of view. Sorry for not saying so earlier. Anyways, I hope you enjoy chapter 3!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Not written for profit, only for fun.**

**-LovelyAlice831-**

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**~SPOV~**

"For the record, I've always trusted you."

Her words echoed in my head, running around in circles incessantly.

How could Granger trust me? She has every right not to. I never made it a secret of my dislike for her or the "Golden Trio". But then again, she had always been more mature than the rest of the group. Not like her other two morons of "friends".

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

Damn that girl for being the smartest in the school. If it were anyone but her, anyone but the best friend of the "Chosen One", then this might be easier. But no, she had to be his best friend.

My mind began to wander to a few nights ago when I still staying in Spinner's End.

"_I know I ought not to speak of this, but the Dark Lord trusts you," Narcissa had said._

"_Then you should not speak," I said to her. "However, I know of your circumstances, Narcissa."_

"_The Dark Lord told you?" Bellatrix asked from across the room._

_I smirked. "You doubt me, Bella?"_

_She scoffed._

"_Severus, is there anything you can do to make sure he's safe?" Narcissa asked, standing. "He's just a boy. My boy. And he is only doing this to punish Lucius for the Department of Mysteries. I know it. Severus, please…."_

The next thing I knew, I was holding Narcissa's wrist as she held mine, and I agreed to the Unbreakable Vow. If this fool of a child fails in his mission, then I shall have to do it for him…or die.

Letting out a shaky sigh, I opened my book once more, but found I had no interest in it anymore. This year was going to be a living hell.

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**~HPOV~**

"When do the Potion lessons start?" Ron asked through a mouthful of chocolate frog.

I shot him a look of disgust over my _Standard Book of Spells, Year Six_ book and turned the page. "Tomorrow. After dinner."

Ron snorted. "Why d'you reckon he wants you to start so early?"

"Ronald, I haven't the faintest idea," I huffed. "I suppose I'll know tomorrow. And besides…I can't tell you what I'm doing. Snape's orders."

"I still think you're mad for doing this," Ron muttered, biting into another chocolate frog. "What do you think, Harry? Harry?"

We turned and saw Harry staring blankly out of the train window.

Ron nudged Harry. "Mate? You alright?"

"I keep thinking of Malfoy," Harry said distantly. "Why was he there? What was he doing? And what was that cabinet about?"

"Harry, when are you going to let this drop?" I asked him, shutting my book. "This is ridiculous! I told you, Malfoy is as much a Death Eater as Dumbledore!"

Harry rolled his eyes and stood up abruptly. "I'm going for a walk."

Grabbing his Invisibility Cloak, he stalked out of the compartment.

I exchanged a confused look with Ron, who shrugged.

"I think he's lost it," Ron said simply, taking Harry's newly vacant seat.

I rolled my eyes and went back to reading.

As it started getting darker, I started to worry. Where was Harry? And why wasn't he back yet? The train was slowing down and he still was gone.

Ron and I changed into our robes and waited anxiously for Harry to walk in, but he didn't and soon, the train stopped and everyone was clambering off the train.

Poking my head into the corridor, I looked to see if he was coming, but I didn't see him.

"Where's Harry?" I asked Ron, biting my lip.

"He's probably already gotten off," Ron said soothingly. "C'mon, or we'll miss the carriages."

Following behind Ron slowly, we made our way to the carriages where we shared one with Luna and Neville.

"Where's Harry?" Luna asked as Ron I got settled.

"I have no idea," I said, craning my neck to see if he was coming.

With a sigh, the carriage lurched forward and we made our way up to the school.

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**~SPOV~**

Where was that boy? Why isn't he off the train yet?

"Draco, why are you late?" I barked out at the pale boy walking towards me.

"It's none of your business," Draco said rudely as Filch began to search him. Draco looked behind me and smirked. "Nice face, Potter."

I turned and saw Potter walking with Tonks, his face bloodied. How many times had I wished to see his father like that? Too many was my guess.

I fought the smile as I imagined that it was the sainted James walking towards me, not his bloody son.

"Where's Hagrid?" Tonks asked, her voice unusually quiet.

"He's late, much like Potter, here," I said unkindly. Potter glared at me. "I like your old Patronus better, by the way," I added scathingly.

Tonks looked at the ground and I heard Potter mutter, "See you later, Tonks."

As I walked, Potter following behind me, I said, "Since you chose to be late, Potter, and show off to the school, you are not to change into your robes. Go in. Now."

As he walked past me, he shot me another dark look, but held his head high as he stalked into the Great Hall. Heads from every table turned to watch him walk and I held back a sneer.

Just like his father, always strutting around the castle as if everyone should bow down to him. It made me sick to my stomach.

I made my way to the High Table and took my seat beside the new professor, Professor Horace Slughorn. He was a bit of a dunderhead, but Dumbledore needed him. For what, even I didn't know, but I assume the reason will come up eventually.

Taking my seat, my eyes scanned the crowded Hall and they immediately found Granger, leaning over to talk to Potter. He shook his head, Ron made a rude hand gesture, and Granger looked up at me. My eyes flicked away and then back. She was staring at her plate.

What was she thinking about?

Wait…why am I wondering what Granger's thinking about? As if I care about that stupid Mudblood….

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**~HPOV~**

"How did you do that?" I said angrily as I watched Harry let the juice drip into his cauldron from the sophorous bean we were supposed to be cutting.

"Crush it, don't cut it," Harry suggested as he stirred his cauldron.

I looked at my book, scanning its page. "The instructions say to cut."

"No, really."

I glared at him and tried to do the Draught of Living Death potion, but Harry's potion was coming out better than mine. I had to admit, I was slightly jealous and rather angry. I was the best at potions, not Harry! Why is better? Why is his potion working and not mine?

I began to throw in ingredients haphazardly, hoping against all hope that something would work, that something I tossed in would make this potion work. But it was all to no avail. Nothing I added helped…and I'm sure that lank of hair that managed to make its way into my potion didn't help it either.

"Time's up," Professor Slughorn called, making everyone freeze. When Slughorn wasn't looking, I added in some extra ingredients, but when he passed by, he looked down his nose at it and turned away.

Useless tears welled up in my eyes and I looked down. I cleaned out my cauldron and slowly packed everything away.

Oh, this is ridiculous, Hermione! I scolded myself as Slughorn made his way to Harry's potion. You can't be the best at everything.

But I can try, a little voice in the back of my head said.

I frowned as Slughorn exclaimed about Harry's potion.

"This is perfect!" he cried over the potion. "I daresay one drop would kill us all!"

Harry beamed.

"Here is your bottle of Felix Felicis, as promised," Slughorn said, pulling out the tiny vial of the gold potion. "Use it well."

Harry took it and smiled bigger, if that were even possible.

I grimaced and, when class was dismissed, I stalked out and made my way to the Great Hall for dinner.

I'll get better, I said to myself as I helped myself to some to a chicken leg and some mashed potatoes. I have lessons with Snape. I will get better than Harry. I won't let him beat me.

As I made my way down to the dungeons, it was then that I realized I was thinking exactly like a Slytherin.

Shaking myself, I knocked quietly on Snape's door.

"Enter," he called in his cold voice.

Bracing myself, I let myself in.

Be brave, Hermione, I said to myself as I shut the door behind me. Be brave. Hermione Jean Granger shall not be afraid of the great Dungeon Bat.

"Sit."

I sat.

"Let us begin."

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**~SPOV~**

Dungeon Bat!

I fought the sneer that threatened to show as I told her what we would be doing: making a potion that would be an antidote to a very poisonous snake's bite. In short, something that would save me from the Dark Lords blasted snake.

"Now, since I have started this over the summer holiday, the work is not as great as it was," I told her as she scribbled feverishly. I rolled my eyes, but let her scribble away. Trust Granger to take notes on all the minute details. "However, there will be times when it will be extremely cold, others, rather warm. On these days, I suggest you dress appropriately."

Her hand rose timidly in the air.

"Yes?" I drawled.

"Will you tell me before?" she asked.

"Yes, Miss Granger, I will," I sighed before I began my pacing once more.

"Now, I expect you to have a professional attitude towards this," I continued. "If you are careless in this work, I shall have to dismiss you and, quite honestly, make your life hell. Even more so than I do now," I added nastily. Her face paled and I suppressed a smile.

More than I do now, I added to myself as her face grew pink. Satisfied, I said, "Now, tonight, we shan't do much. Just observe while I do what needs to be done."

Hermione nodded and put her notebook and quill away. Then she followed me to where the cauldron holding the potion stood on a desk in the corner.

After adding the necessary ingredients and describing what each would do, I dismissed her.

Before she left, however, she turned and asked, "Professor, what is this potion for?"

My black eyes met her brown ones and I said, "That, Miss Granger, is something you will never know."

She opened her mouth as if to say something, but thought better of it, and stomped out.

I smiled with satisfaction as I cleaned up the unused ingredients. Once that was done, I went into my private quarters and sank into the black leather armchair by the fire.

Staring into its flames, my thoughts unwillingly drifted to the one person I tried every day not to think of: Lily.

_Why did I have to call her that? I ruined everything. If, perhaps, I hadn't said it, she might not have married Potter. She might still be alive._

"And married to you, Severus?" I asked myself aloud. I scoffed. "Severus Snape, you are a fool."

"But a good fool," a soft voice said from behind me.

I stood quickly and saw Dumbledore peering at me over his half-moon spectacles.

"After all this time, Severus?" he asked me, striding forward. "After all this time, you still love her?"

I nodded. "Always."

He sighed. "I suppose it would be too much to ask you to move on…?"

"I won't, sir," I replied shortly.

He nodded once and moved to the fire.

"How was Miss Granger this evening, Severus?" he asked me conversationally. I poured myself a glass of Firewhiskey and sipped it. It burned going down my throat, but it was what I needed. I didn't bother asking Dumbledore if he wanted any. I knew long ago he would never take it.

"As annoying as ever, sir," I replied dryly.

He smiled. "And yet, still the smartest."

"Damn her for that," I said darkly.

"But she will do well," he said thoughtfully, cocking his head to the side. "You need her, Severus. Only she can help with this. She's the only one who can help you, who can potentially save you."

I scoffed. "Miss Granger is merely helping me brew a potion, Headmaster, not saving my life."

He smiled knowingly and strode to the door.

"For the moment, perhaps, Severus." With that, he left me alone, pondering what his words could possibly mean.

"Stupid old fool," I muttered, prodding the flaming embers with the poker. "He speaks in riddles…it's bloody maddening."

What did he mean she would "save me"? It was utter nonsense. It was just a bloody potion that I needed brewed before the Dark Lord discovered the truth about me.

"Blasted old man," I cursed.

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	4. Chapter 4

**W****ell...here's a new chapter for ya! Hope you like it!**

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**~HPOV~**

We had been at school for only a week and already, I noticed a boy staring at me at the Gryffindor table.

"Ginny, who's that?" I asked as I took a sip of piping hit coffee, my eyes flicking to the boy with curly blonde hair and a stocky build. He had a smirk on his face and he threw a wink at me. I turned away quickly, back to Ginny, who was eating eggs and toast.

Ginny glanced over and snorted into her eggs.

"That's Cormac McClaggen," she said, shaking her flaming head. "He's a prat. And a complete moron. Get this, apparently, he tried to sniff some Doxy powder, I think it was, the week of the Quidditch tryouts last year and he couldn't make it. I think he wants to try for Keeper. He is seriously not worth anyone's time. So...steer clear of him. He will do anything to get what he wants. And when I say 'anything'...I _mean _anything."

I grimaced and turned back to Ron, who was having a heated argument with Harry about the Advanced Potions book.

"I don't see why we can't share," Ron grumbled as he bit into a sausage. He downed his glass of pumpkin juice not a second later and poured himself some more. "I could finally be good at Potions."

"We can, Ron," Harry insisted. I saw his eyes flick to Ginny, who was laughing at something Dean had said. "I told you that."

"But I can't read that bloody small handwriting," Ron whined.

Harry turned his head away from Ron, who was still shoveling food into his mouth, and suddenly stood.

"Oi, where are you going?" Ron asked, sounding slightly offended.

"Bathroom," Harry muttered before dashing out of the Hall.

Confused, I looked back at Ginny, who was currently snogging Dean.

Oh. That's why.

I shrugged and took another sip of coffee, watching Snape glide into the Hall, taking his seat beside Slughorn.

The day before, the temperature in the room with the potion had dropped so much, my breath had fogged before me. I had been wearing dragonhide gloves, my scarf, and my cloak over my school robes, but it was all to no avail. I was still freezing. Snape took note and sneered at me. I had glared at him and said that maybe he should provide clothes thicker than dragonhide itself. I lost ten points for that comment.

My face flushed as I remembered it would still be freezing in there.

"Still have to go to that thing with Snape tonight?" Ron asked me, bringing back to the Great Hall.

I nodded.

"It's been freezing in there the past few days," I told him, draining my coffee. I stood and Ron followed.

"Why?" Ron asked me as we walked, shoulder-to-shoulder out of the Hall.

"That's what the potion needs, apparently," I said as we began our walk to Potions.

"Any clue what you're making?" Ron asked.

"Not one."

"Damn."

"Yeah."

We walked into the classroom, two of the first there. Slughorn was already there, getting things ready for our class. Harry was nowhere.

"Where's Harry?" I asked, setting my books on our shared table.

"Probably coming soon," Ron said unconcernedly. He dropped his book into the table and took a seat on his stool.

I wonder if Harry knew yet, I thought to myself just as he walked in, slightly breathless. I doubted it. He was too thick. At least he didn't like that daft Cho Chang anymore.

"Where were you?" I asked him as he sat down, pulling his own book out.

"I got a note from Dumbledore," Harry said. "He wants to see me after our classes today."

"Ooh, for what?" I asked him eagerly just as Slughorn began to speak.

"Today, I want you to brew a Forgetfulness Potion," he said. "All the ingredients you need are in the cupboard. Begin."

There was no more time for talking. I wanted to beat Harry today, as childish as that sounded. But Harry only knew what to do because of the book he had. It was like a cheat sheet, giving him all the answers.

By the end of class, Harry's potion was perfect and mine…not so much.

Feeling slightly cross, I stuffed my books in my bag, Vanished my potion, and stalked out, walking quickly to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Taking my seat, I waited, back ramrod straight, eyes straight ahead, as Snape began passing back our essays.

He placed mine in front of me without so much as a word, not that I expected any.

I picked it up and saw an E.

Grinning, I put it in my bag and took the necessary notes as Snape droned on about Inferi and ghosts.

"Potter, tell me…what is the difference between an Inferi and a ghost," Snape suddenly barked out, causing Harry to jump.

The automatic urge to throw my hand in the air threatened to overpower me, but I kept it down, looking anxiously at Harry.

Oh, come on, Harry! You know this!

"Er, well…an Inferi is a solid body and a ghost is a see-through body."

"Congratulations Potter," Snape said coldly. "I surmise even a first year could tell me that much."

He turned, his black cloak billowing out and paced to the front of the room.

"As Potter so articulately tells us," he said, "Inferi are, indeed, solid, while a ghost is…see-through."

He smirked.

"An Inferi is the body of a departed soul, used for the Dark Arts," Snape explained. My hand flew over my parchment, copying everything down. "A ghost is the imprint of a departed soul."

"Harry was right, wasn't he?" Ron asked. There were murmurs from the others in the room. "I mean, you can't just walk up to an Inferi and ask, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?'"

"Silence, Weasley," Snape barked. "Ten points from Gryffindor."

I tuned them out, too used to Snape arguing with Harry and Ron. I began to write my notes again, trying to get them more neat and soon, class was over.

As I made my way down to the dungeons later that evening, I still felt the twinge of nervousness. It may have been a week, but it was just that. We had only been at this one week and who knew, maybe he would find a replacement for me. I may not like him, but I loved to learn about potions, even if I had no idea what we were making.

I knocked softly on the door. No answer.

Opening the door slowly, I poked my head and called, "Professor Snape?"

Walking in, I shut the door and made my way to the cauldron and set my bag on the floor. He would probably be here soon, so I might as well get ready.

Pulling out my extra clothing, I looked around and saw a door in the back ajar.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I put the dragonhide clothes I had been about to pull on down and walked slowly over to it.

The room was dark with only one small little candle flickering across the room, in danger of going out.

Pulling my wand out, I muttered, "Lumos."

Holding my wand in front of me, I discovered what must be Snape's private quarters.

Now terrified, I began to back out when something shiny caught my attention on the floor.

Moving closer, I saw it was a shoe…that was attached to someone.

"Professor Snape!" I cried, running over and shaking him.

He let out a low moan, his head lolling to the side.

Frightened, I looked around to see what was wrong with him when I saw a deep gash on his forehead. He had a split lip and a cut cheek, and he was paler than usual.

"What in the name of Merlin-?"

Biting my lip, I put my wand beside me and lifted his left arm. Dragging his sleeve slowly back, I saw, clear as day on his pale forearm, the Dark Mark.

I let out a gasp and dropped his arm. He moved his head again and his eyes flickered open. It took him a moment to focus on me and when he did, he looked confused.

"Miss…Granger…?" he gasped roughly.

"Sir, what…should I get help?" I asked him, at loss for what to do.

He shook his head and let out a terrible cough.

"Help me…up…."

Taking an arm, I tried to haul him to his feet, but he wouldn't budge.

"Sir, you have to help me!" I said between clenched teeth, still trying to help him up.

He managed to get a foot under him and his other arm. Together, we managed to lift him to his bed, where he collapsed, breathing heavily. I staggered backwards, knocking into a chair. I fell into it and just stared at the man on the bed.

"Miss Granger…in a drawer…across the room…is a bottle…labeled…Essence…of Dittany…." Snape let out another terrible cough that consumed him.

Without further instruction, I rushed to the drawer and wrenched it open, finding the tiny bottle.

Unstoppering it, I handed it to him, but he shook his head.

"You must…do it…"

Confused, I dabbed some on his forehead, cheek, and lip. The awareness was beginning to come back in his black eyes and he reached out for it. Handing it to him, I backed away, towards the door. But before I could step out, he said, "Thank you, Miss Granger."

I nodded. "You're welcome, sir."

"Wait for me out by the cauldron," he said as he began pulling up the sleeve of his right arm. "I need to discuss some things with you."

I nodded again and hurried out.

It was several minutes before Snape emerged from his room. There was a slight limp and every time he took a step, he grimaced in pain.

But at least he's moving, I said to myself as he took a seat on the stool across from me.

"Miss Granger," he began, "you are to tell no one what you saw tonight. Is that clear?"

I nodded mutely.

"If you do," he continued, "I shall have to dismiss you as my assistant and that would put me far behind on the potion."

I nodded again.

He folded his arms across his chest and fixed me with a piercing stare.

"Tell me, what made you walk into my room this evening?" he asked.

"I-" My voice came out a squeak, so I cleared my throat and tried again. "I was waiting for you, sir, to come in and then I saw the door open and…sir, I have no excuse as to why I went into your room, but, to be perfectly honest, I'm glad I did. Who knows what might have happened if I hadn't seen you."

"What indeed."

He watched me until I began to feel very uncomfortable. He shifted and said, "There will be no potion-making tonight, Miss Granger, but I expect you to be here bright and early tomorrow morning."

"Sir?"

"Just because it is Saturday, Miss Granger, doesn't mean we won't be doing the potion," he said crossly. "The only times you will get out of the potion is for Quidditch matches and Hogsmead. Understood?"

I nodded.

Damn. When did Snape become so understanding about student activities?

I thought I saw a smirk before he dismissed me, reminding me about tomorrow morning.

"Good night, sir," I threw over my shoulder before I dashed out of the dungeons.

* * *

**~SPOV~**

That was close. So close. Too close.

She could have discovered what I was and then it would be the end for me.

Sinking in my chair, I nursed a glass of Firewhiskey and tried not to remember the Dark Lords punishment for Draco not doing his job correctly.

Why the devil is my fault anyway? You asked the damn kid to do a "job" for you, but only because their father is an utter failure at life and can't tell one end of a broomstick from another. I shouldn't have been punished for that.

But I knew I was the Dark Lords punching bag. I had been ever since I joined him all those years ago.

"Severus," a gentle voice from behind me said.

"Good evening, sir."

"How did the meeting go, Severus?" Dumbledore asked me, taking the chair beside me. He fixed me with his piercing blue eyes and waited.

"He was angry tonight," I replied. I flexed the fingers of my left arm unconsciously. This action wasn't missed by Dumbledore.

"How bad was it, Severus?" he asked softly.

"Miss Granger found me," I said shortly.

"Is that a bad thing?"

I looked at him like he had lost his mind.

"She could have found out about me!"I cried.

"Where is the harm in that?" Dumbledore demanded.

"She is a student, Dumbledore, not some Order of the Phoenix member!" I retorted. "She is still innocent of most evils out there. I will not put her – or her sainted friends – in danger because she finds out I'm really working for you."

"You cannot keep this a secret forever," Dumbledore told me, his voice gentle as ever. It was maddening!

"But I can and I will," I replied stubbornly, draining my glass.

I set it down harder than intended and looked at his right hand.

"How is it?" I asked him.

He flexed his dead hand, staring at it thoughtfully.

"No worse than it was that night."

"Sir, it could have killed you," I said, repeating what I had told him that night. "You're lucky I was there to stop it."

"I don't have long, you know," Dumbledore said conversationally, ignoring me. "Soon, Harry will be the one to continue what I have started."

"And you still aren't going to tell me, are you?" I asked him, sarcasm and bitterness even in my voice.

"No," he said simply.

Almost as if sensing my annoyance, he stood and said, "I expect you're tired, Severus, I will leave you so you may sleep."

"Good night, sir," I said without looking up at him.

I heard the door open and then he said, "Perhaps it is time to share your secret with someone besides me. She can be trusted."

I scoffed as the door shut.

Of course she could, I thought, pouring myself another glass of Firewhiskey. That's why I couldn't tell her.

* * *

**~HPOV~**

He has the Dark Mark. Dear God. Was I wrong? Or was it there from his earlier days?

Questions kept running through my mind that night while I tried to write my Ancient Runes essay, but my mind kept wandering back to Snape and what had happened earlier that night.

I had run to the bathroom and waited until I calmed down before I returned to the Common Room, much to Harry and Ron's surprise.

"What are you doing back so early?" Ron had asked as he and Harry played a game of Wizards Chess.

"The potion only needed a few things," I lied smoothly as Ron's queen took out one of Harry's knights. "But I need to go in early tomorrow. I wish it was still the evening. I have homework I still have to do."

"You always have homework," Ron grumbled, taking out Harry's pawn.

"We have a Potions essay due next week," I said bossily, "and you're wasting time playing chess?"

"Relax, Hermione," Ron said as Harry took out one of Ron's bishops. I was secretly proud for Harry before Ron said, "We have ages. We'll get it done."

"Well, be sure not to count on me this time," I retorted before retreating in a corner, sharing a table with Ginny, who was writing an essay of her own.

"What's up?" she asked as I slumped in my seat, her quill pausing over the parchment.

"I am so tired of Ron using me," I said, pulling out my things. "It's high time he do his own work."

"You should have told him that years ago," Ginny said, resuming her writing.

I sighed. "I know."

We didn't say anymore once I started my essay.

But now I was staring around the nearly empty Common Room, still wondering about Snape and what this all meant.

Since he has the Dark Mark, that could feasibly mean two things: he can't get it off from his earlier days, or he was still a Death Eater. I was seriously hoping for the former.

* * *

**I have to ask: Did anyone laugh at the "Something shiny on the floor caught my attention." Because when I wrote that, I sort of laughed. Well, there's my ADD for you! **

**Anyways, I hope you liked the chapter! Let me know what you think! Review and...stuff. 'Cause...ya know...I love reviews. ^_^**

**-LovelyAlice831-**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you so much for all the reviews I got! They mean a lot too me! And sorry that this update took a bit (or maybe it seemed like it had been a while to me). Anyways...I hope you like it!**

***Now...there is something I feel the need to address: A few days ago, I was accused of plagiarizing. I am terribly sorry if it seemed like I was. I can assure you that I am not. Perhaps, in the beginning, it appeared as if I were. This is not the case. I would also like to point out that there are only currently 5 chapters. And I plan to have loads more coming. The story that I "copied" from is completely different from mine, I promise. I also do not take this matter lightly and I would again like to apologize. I cannot tell you how appalled I was - and still am - at the idea that I am believed to have plagiarized. Again, I am sorry.**

**Now! On with the chapter! I hope you like-y it!**

**-LovelyAlice831-**

* * *

**~HPOV~**

The next few weeks passed by without any incident. We never mentioned what had happened that night when I barged into his private quarters and helped him. And now the potion was going to have to sit for a week, or so Snape said.

As I packed my bags up, I watched out of the corner of my eye as he cleaned up his area without so much as a glance in my direction.

I cleared my throat, hitching my bag up onto my shoulder. He didn't look.

I tried again. Nothing.

Sighing heavily internally, I asked, "Sir, will you let me know when I need to be back for the potion?"

"Yes, Miss Granger," he said shortly. He turned and walked back to the classroom and I followed close behind.

I watched as he took a seat behind his desk and pulled a stack of papers towards him. Then he picked up his quill and dipped it in his ink and began scratching across the papers.

He must have noticed that I was still there because he looked up and stared crossly at me.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" he asked.

"I was just wondering if, maybe, you'd like some company?" I suggested quietly, scuffing my foot across the floor.

He gave me a confused look and then he leaned over the papers and said, "Get out, Miss Granger, before I take points from Gryffindor."

I nodded and bolted.

Why in the sodding name of Merlin did I just ask if Snape wanted company? Maybe it's because I just think he's lonely. Goodness knows that it's true. I haven't seen a lonelier person. Ever. Snape seriously needed some friends. And apparently, I was offering myself up as bait.

What the hell are you thinking, Hermione? I scolded myself as I raced back to the Gryffindor Common Room.

I sank down on the couch next to Ron, who was scribbling furiously on a piece of parchment.

I regarded him a moment before I said, "Do not tell me that's your potions essay you've waited until the day before it's due to write."

"Then it's not," Ron muttered, dipping his quill into his ink.

I sighed and said, "Let me see it."

He gave a sigh of relief and handed me the essay.

There were blots of ink everywhere and many words were crossed out. There were several misspelled words and the ink was smeared where his hand had gone over it.

"this is a disaster," I cried, looking up at him. He gave me a sheepish grin and shrugged. "I'm not going to write it for you, but I will tell you what you need in it," I added in a warning tone.

"Thanks, Hermione," he said gratefully as I handed back his essay.

Just as he was finishing his essay, the portrait hole opened and Harry walked in, looking completely exhausted.

"Ron, wait!" I said, grabbing his arm, causing him to freeze.

"What?" he asked me. Then he looked in the direction I was looking and grinned. "Hey mate."

Harry flopped down on the other side of Ron and closed his eyes, his head leaning back against the couch.

"What is it, Harry?" I asked him.

"Horcruxes," he muttered.

Ron and I exchanged confused glances.

"Er, what" Ron asked.

"Horcruxes," he repeated, his eyes still closed. "That's why Voldemort didn't die. He had Horcruxes."

"What the bloody hell is a Horcrux?" Ron asked.

Harry's eyes opened slowly and he lifted his head, looking at us both.

"They're an object holding a person's soul," he explained slowly. "And he has seven."

"Wait – how do you make these Horcruxes?" I asked him.

"What rips apart a soul?" Harry asked, looking me right in the eye.

I gasped. "Killing someone. And he's killed loads of people! Probably more than even he can count."

Harry nodded. "And that's what Dumbledore's been doing."

"What do you mean?" Ron asked.

"He's been leaving school to find Horcruxes," he said. "He has to destroy them all before one can destroys Voldemort."

"So is that why he's been showing you all these memories?" Ron asked him.

Harry nodded. "But Dumbledore doesn't know what the Horcruxes are yet. He knows what two of them were. The journal." he nodded at Ron. "And then a ring, which was cursed, which is why his hand is dead."

"He put on a cursed ring?" I asked, shocked. Harry nodded.

"I always said he was mad," Ron said, half admiring, half disbelieving.

"Yeah, and apparently, Slughorn has a memory Dumbledore needs and I have to get it."

Ron whistled and I leaned back on the couch. A movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention and I turned my head to look at what it was.

It was Lavender Brown, who was currently holding her chin in her hand, staring avidly at Ron, who was completely oblivious to the fawning girl.

I stood up abruptly, drawing Harry and Ron's attention.

"Er, I'm tired," I said. "Good night."  
"Night," Harry and Ron said together, both sounding bewildered.

I gathered up my things and hurried to my dormitory, where I shut the door and sank onto my bed. I dropped my thigns to the floor, got out of my robes nad into my pajamas and hten drew the curtains around my four-poster bed. Little shafts of moonlight made their way trhough the gaps of the curtains and I stared at them.

Lavender liked Ron. Granted, it was something I had suspected for a while now, but…what if Ron liked her back? What if he noticed her staring at her. It would go to his head and then ruin what little progress I've made. Sure, I haven't been straightforward with my liking him and I was beginning to think Harry suspected, but…Ron was still oblivious to it.

Why, oh why, did Lavender have to suddenly develop a crush for Ron? And this year of all years? Hopefully it'll turn to nothing. Hopefully, he'll just ignore it.

With that last, feeble, comforting thought, I got under my covers and fell into a light sleep.

"Harry, after this match, I'm resigning," Ron said, his voice squeaking a bit as he sat down in front of Harry and me. Ginny sat to my left, who had Dean beside her.

Harry shrugged.

"After today…McClaggen can have my spot," Ron continued.

"Have it your way," Harry said unconcernedly. "Just…drink some juice."

Harry passed him a goblet just as Luna sat down.

"Hello everyone," she said in her lofty voice. I was still amazed at how much Luna had grown on me. "You look awful, Ron."

I fought a grin as Ron gave a small smile. Trust Luna to be blunt. So I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised by her next words.

"Is that why you've put something in his cup?" she asked Harry.

All eyes went to Harry, who gave another careless shrug as he slipped something into his cup.

I gasped, my eyes widening.

"Liquid Luck," I whispered. I looked at Ron and said, "Don't drink it!"

He frowned at me. "Leave me alone, Hermione."

He took a long gulp from the goblet and stood, a grin spreading across his face.

"You could be expelled for that," I warned Harry, who was grinning at Ron.

"I dunno what you're talking about," Harry said seriously to me.

Ron was positively beaming now as he said, "C'mon, mate, we've got a match to win."

Harry stood, grinning, and walked out of the Great Hall, Ron practically strutting beside him.

What kind of friends have I got? I asked myself as everyone in the Great Hall headed out to the pitch ten minutes later.

* * *

**~SPOV~**

"Oh, come on, Severus!" Dumbledore said happily. "It's Quidditch! And Gryffindor against Slytherin! Always the best matches to watch, in my opinion."

I frowned. It was snowing out and I really wasn't in the mood to watch Quidditch.

"Sir, I really don't want to go."

"Severus Snape, you're going whether you like it or not," Dumbledore said in a hard voice.

I sighed. "Yes sir."

So, five minutes later, I was seated next to Dumbledore and McGonagall as the two Quidditch teams marched across the pitch towards one another. Another minute later and they were up in the air, the match beginning.

Quidditch always was boring to me. It had lost its appeal after James Potter began to play.

It still irked me how, after all these years, he still pissed me off. And he'd been dead for fifteen years and yet…I still hated him with every fiber of my being.

I was pulled from my brooding thoughts as roar erupted from the stands.

Hoping it was Slytherin making a goal, I was shocked to see Weasley holding the Quaffle smugly under his arm.

Even from my distance, I could see his surprised, yet pleased smile on his face. He threw the Quaffle back and went back to guarding his post.

Huh. Since when did Weasley become good at Quidditch?

Two minutes later, he caught the Quaffle again. And again. And again.

Soon, the stands were singing the old song the Slytherins came up with last year. It was a raucous chorus of "Weasley Is Our King." I groaned.

I turned to look at Dumbledore, who was happily bouncing in his seat, humming along.

Oh, how disgusting.

I looked back at the boy, who looked like he was conducting the stands.

What an idiot, I thought as he caught the Quaffle yet again.

Ten minutes later, the game was over, with Potter holding the Snitch high in the air, as Ron was bombarded by his teammates.

Shaking my head, my eyes roved over the stands and found Granger practically drooling over the dunce.

Not that it was shock. Everyone but Weasley knew she liked him. Wow. He really was thicker than he looked. And that was saying something.

* * *

**~HPOV~**

"Harry, you really shouldn't have done it," I said once again as Ron stood in the center of the Common Room, surrounded by the other Gryffindors, who were still cheering.

"Yeah, I know," Harry said. "But I reckon I could've just used a Confundus Charm."

He gave me a sideways and I glared at him.

"Yes, but this was different," I said, defending my own actions. "That was tryouts. This was a real game."

Harry smiled at me and stuck his hand in his pocket, pulling out the small vile. It was still sealed shut.

"you didn't use it," I said, surprised. Harry nodded, grinning broadly, proud of his own genius. "Ron only thought you used it."

"Yep." Harry was beaming and turned his attention back to Ron.

I looked at him too…and wished I hadn't.

Just as I looked back at Ron, I saw him pulled into Lavender Brown's arms…where he snogged fiercely.

Everyone in the room cheered loudly and some cat-called and wolf-whistled.

It felt as though someone had sucker-punched me in the stomach. I felt all the breath whoosh out of me and I went numb from head to foot.

I stumbled back a few steps and then bolted from the Common Room. I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks as I went into an empty class room.

Murmuring a charm, I heard the birds flutter quietly over my head. At least I wasn't alone, I thought miserably.

How could I have been so stupid as to think that Ron would never fall for Lavender? She was extremely pretty…and utterly dimwitted. I guess she and Ron were perfect for one another.

"Hermione?" a quiet voice asked from the doorway of the class.

I sniffled. Of course. Of course Harry would find me.

"These are…great," he said half-heartedly.

"They're for Charms," I said, sounding as if I had a chest cold. "I'm just practicing."

"Well…I think they're brilliant," he said again.

I cleared my throat and sagged against the wall. I looked at him and said, "How does it feel?"

"How does what feel?" he asked me, sounding confused.

"When you see Dean with Ginny?"

"Oh, er…." He looked uncomfortable, dragging at the collar of his shirt. But a commotion at the door stopped him from answering.

A high pitched giggle filled the room and Lavender and Ron came in, holding hands.

Lavender looked at me coldly, a fake smile on her face and said, "I think this room is taken."

She pulled at Ron, who didn't budge. He was looking at me, a weird expression on his face. Lavender gave up and left him alone with Harry and me.

"What's…what's with the birds?" he asked.

Suddenly, I was angry.

If he wanted a daft girlfriend, then fine. He could date all the idiots in Hogwarts that he wanted. But not me.

I glared at him and said, "_Oppugno._"

The little birds that had been fluttering over me suddenly dive-bombed Ron, who let out an odd yell and followed Lavender.

A sob escaped my lips when he was gone and I felt empty. Completely and utterly empty.

Harry took my hand comfortingly and murmured, "It feels like this."

* * *

**~SPOV~**

She slammed her bag onto the desk and wrenched her books from her bag, where she proceeded to slam those on the desk as well.

I watched her for a moment before I said, "Whatever it is that is bothering you, Miss Granger, I suggest you leave outside my classroom. I haven't the time to deal with petty teenage attitudes. I have a potion I have to make."

"Sorry, Professor," she said stiffly.

I knew something was wrong. It was like Hermione Granger to disrespect a teacher, even one she didn't like. My thoughts drifted to Weasley, but I shoved it aside and started on the potion.

About an hour later, Granger dropped her pestle and I heard a bit of a sob hitch in her throat.

"Miss Granger, it is okay to drop materials," I said quietly. "Just not ingredients."

She didn't laugh, not that I expected her to. Instead, I saw a single tear fall from her eye and, for some reason, I wanted to comfort her, even though I did not know what was the matter.

"Er, we can take a break," I suggested.

She wiped away the tear. "I don't need a break," she said, triyng to sound fierce.

"With all due respect," I said quietly while she ground at the already powdered beetle that was needed for the potion, "I believe you do."

She dropped the pestle and sank onto the stool, dropping her head onto her arms.

"What is it, Miss Granger?" I asked her, continuing with my work. I watched her over the scales and I saw her shoulders shake.

"You don't care," she said, her voice muffled.

"I can't get any work done if there is a sobbing person trying to work," I pointed out.

She lifted her face and I saw it was stained with tears, her eyes red.

"What is it?" I asked her again.

"It's just…it's Ron," she said, her voice cracking.

Really? She was seriously crying over him?

"What has he done now?" I asked her, not really caring for an answer.

"He's dating complete idiot and then he makes fun of me, like I don't have feelings," she said angrily. 'That's all he ever does. All he does is make fun of me, like I have no feelings, like I'm something everyone can walk over. It's like I'm nothing to him, even after five years. Nothing," she added in a broken whisper.

I felt drawn to her situation. I knew the feeling. I knew what it felt like to have people believe you didn't posses feelings, emotions.

"Miss Granger…Hermione," I said awkwardly. She looked up, curious. "If I am not mistaken, I believe Slughorn is having a Christmas party."

She nodded.

"Who are you taking?" I asked her.

"I was – I was going to take Ron," she said, her voice breaking. "But now…."

"Why not invite someone who will…make him jealous?" I suggested.

What the hell? Have I turned into a devious little school girl? I cringed at the thought.

"What do you mean?" she asked me. "Who could do that? Ron doesn't care."  
"On the contrary," I said. "McClaggen."

"What?" she asked me.

"Ask McClaggen," I told her. "Everyone knows he was a shoe-in for Chaser but someone Confunded the poor boy, thus, McClaggen did no make the team.

I saw her cheeks redden and I fought a grin.

"I suppose I could ask him," she muttered, more to herself than to me. "But he has an awful reputation."

"Then don't be alone with him."

She eyed me curiously.

"Sir…why do you care?" she asked me.

That was a good question.

I shrugged instead and said, "I need a focused person making this potion and you, Miss Granger, were not focused."

She smiled feebly at me.

"Now…back to work."

She nodded and we were back to making the potion. Two hours later, when we were wrapping up, she asked me, "Sir, are you still not going to tell me what it's for?"

I shook my head.

"I've told you what it was for, in a sense," I told her, wiping my area down, "but I won't say more than that."

"Like…who it's for?" she asked me. I nodded. She frowned.

"Good night, Miss Granger," I said, hinting at her to leave.

She began to walk away before she turned and said, "You called me Hermione."

I gave her a cold look. "So?"

"Well…since we work together everyday…why don't you call me Hermione?" she asked me.

Too personal. "Habit, I suppose."

"How about you call me Hermione?" she suggested innocently. I grimaced.

"Fine," I said, caving. She beamed. "But only because I'm tiring of saying Miss Granger. And do not think you may call me anything but Professor Snape or sir."

She nodded.

"Good night, sir."

She was beaming now and left, a strange new bounce in her step.

Shaking my head, I started to wonder how I began to care for the girl. She was completely insufferable, a dreadful know-it-all, and…was very much like me.

Perhaps I could use a friend, as Dumbledore keeps saying.

I rolled my eyes and went into my quarters.

I was just about to pour myself a glass of Firewhiskey when I felt a red-hot burning sensation on my left arm.

Oh, hell, I thought, dropping my glass. Not now. Not tonight.

I pulled on my robes and Disapparated for the Malfoy's house to meet with the Dark Lord.

* * *

**Have I mentioned that I like reviews? And sorry if these begin to come out slower. I actually had to force this out of me. I lost inspiration for this one.**

**But yeah. Let me know what you think!**

**-LovelyAlice831-**


	6. Chapter 6

**Well, hi! I am terribly sorry for the, er, severely delayed update. I know...I'm a terrible person. Ha, ha! But, in my defense, I had a research paper due. In fact, I have another one due here soon, as well, so...not much more from me, I'm afraid. Not for a while, anyways. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think!**

**-LovelyAlice831- **

* * *

**~HPOV~**

The next day, I noticed Severus looked even paler than usual and if he moved a certain way to the right, he grimaced in pain.

Finally, as I was stirring the potion the necessary six times clockwise, seven times counter-clockwise, I looked at him over the green sparks the potion was emitting and said as casually as I could, "I took your advice and asked Cormac out to Slughorn's party."

It caught his attention.

He glanced up at me, looking surprised.

"What did he say?" he asked.

"Yes, of course," I replied, smirking. I saw the shadow of smile cross his face and it made me smile a bit more.

"Just remember to not be alone with him," he warned me.

Fighting a grin, I feigned shock and said, "Do you care for my safety, Severus?"

"You're a student," he replied immediately. "I cannot allow you to harm yourself. Just…do as I said."

"But I'm a Gryffindor," I pointed out, sitting back on my stool. I was done for the day and all that was left was for me to clean up my section of the table.

"So?" Severus asked as he added a silver powder to the potion, making it turn a vivid blue.

"You shouldn't care for a Gryffindor," I told him as I put away my things. "You shouldn't care for my well-being."

He gave me a cross look and I smirked. I heard him inhale and then I saw him fall out of view.

I froze for the span of a second before I jumped off the stool and ran to his side. I grabbed his left arm in a death grip and I saw that he had hit his head on the cabinet behind him. Luckily, nothing had fallen, but he still wasn't moving. Only his eyes were open and they were on me. It seemed to me that he was slightly disgusted with himself.

"Sir, what do I do?" I asked desperately. "What do you need?"

"Just help me up," he gasped. "Get me to my room."

I nodded and pulled his left arm over my shoulder, hauling him to his feet.

Making the way to his room, I nudged the slightly ajar door open with my foot and helped him to his bed, where he lay there quite still for a moment.

When he moved a bit, I asked again, "What do you need?"

He shook his head and covered his face with his hands.

"Nothing," he replied, his voice a little muffled from behind his hands. "Just rest."

I nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me and made my way to the door.

As I about to shut the door behind me, I heard him gasp one word: "Stay."

Smiling a small smile, I walked back in and pulled a chair over to the foot of his bed, but before I sat, I lit the fire in the empty grate and a few candles, throwing an orange glow upon the room.

For the first time, I looked at his room and saw that he had two whole walls full of books; another wall had a black dresser shoved up to it, a candelabra that held six candles sitting on top of it. There were two stacks of books on the dresser and a brandy decanter. The fireplace was of stone, like the room, and the mantle was a large stone slab. There were no pictures on the mantle. There was only a small candle.

There was one green threadbare rug under the two chairs in front of the fireplace where it met the hearth. It didn't reach his bed, which was fairly big given it was for one person.

The bed itself was black and wrought iron with emerald green blankets. A small nightstand sat on either side of the bed and they both had books stacked up on them. Only the one closest the door had an unlit candle on it.

And the chair I was now sitting on was a black leather winged arm chair, as was the other one. The table that sat in between the two chairs was black as well and held two empty glasses that looked like one had had brandy in it.

I looked back at the sunken man in front of me and wondered how his life had been. What had led him to be a Death Eater? Why was he still one? Had he ever loved and been loved in return? Or had he been alone his whole life, never having anyone to care for him?

I shuddered at the thought of living my life alone and wondered how he did it.

Severus pulled his hands away from his face and fixed me with a burning stare.

We said nothing; there was only a silence between us. And then he broke it.

"You're the only person who has ever helped me, Miss Granger."

"Hermione," I said automatically, smiling softly.

"Hermione," he repeated.

I watched him a moment before I said, "What about Professor Dumbledore? Doesn't he care?"

He was silent for a moment before he said, "I cannot tell you the truth. I wish I could, you have no idea. But if I do tell you, you will be in danger."

"With all due respect, sir," I said, chuckling, "I'm best friends with Harry Potter. I'm already in danger."

"This is true," he conceded thoughtfully. "But I still can't tell you."

"Sir, you can tell me," I pressed.

He shook his head.

"I consider you a friend, Severus," I said earnestly, "and I look after my friends, no matter what. You can trust me."

* * *

**~SPOV~**

"You can trust me," she said, her brown eyes earnest as she tried to make me believe her.

The sad thing was I did believe her. But no matter how much I trusted her or believed, I couldn't put my troubles onto her.

I felt helpless, lying on the bed while she sat there, watching me, patiently waiting for me to say something, anything. But if I told her the truth, she would run and tell Potter. I couldn't tell her. I couldn't risk it. I had gone sixteen years without anyone knowing where my true allegiance lies.

But maybe she could be the only exception, I thought as my eyes drifted closed.

The pain in my side had subsided to a bearable pain now, so I was able to relax a bit.

"Why don't you heal yourself?"

I opened my eyes and looked at the girl with the pale, innocent face, the untamable bushy brown mane of hair, and dark brown, concerned eyes.

Because I don't deserve to be healed, I thought dully to myself while we were silent. I deserve to be punished, to be in pain.

But I answered her question as best I could.

"It never really occurred to me before."

She caught my lie immediately and asked me hesitantly, "Severus, are you…are you a – a Death Eater?"

I stiffened and I felt my face slide into an automatic glare. Hermione, catching this, cowered back into the chair and began stuttering out apologies.

"I-I didn't mean….I'm s-sorry to-"

I cut her off by struggling into a sitting position, my face twisted a bit as my teeth were gritted.

"Severus, you need to-!"

I cut her off again.

"Hermione, for once in your life, please shut up."

A look of hurt crossed her face and I immediately regretted my words.

"Forgive me," I said formally. "I didn't mean to sound harsh."

She shrugged off my apology.

"I don't know why it still bothers me," she said in an offhand voice.

"What?" I asked her. I surprised to learn that I actually wanted to know the answer.

"People telling me to shut up," she explained. "Telling me I'm a know-it-all," she gave me a pointed look and continued "and just generally being horrible to me."

"I am sorry, Hermione," I said after a moment, trying to make my words sound as sincere as I meant them.

She nodded.

I cleared my throat self-consciously and said "I can relate, you know."

She gave me a curious look and said, "Really? You can?"

I smirked. I was known as Snivellus when I was student. Greasy Git. In short, I was the school freak."

A smiled flitted across her face.

"We're both the freaks of Hogwarts, eh?" she asked, laughing a bit.

"Indeed we are."

"I was always the freak, though, even in Muggle schools," she said sadly. "I've never fit in anywhere. Ever. I thought that, once I got to Hogwarts, I'd fit in, but I still stuck out like a sore thumb."

"There's nothing wrong with that," I said defensively.

"Says you."

"Yes…says me."

She grinned at me and shifted in her seat, pulling her legs up to sit cross-legged in the arm chair. My chair.

"May I ask a personal question?" she asked me, sounding – and looking – completely relaxed and at home in my room.

"Are we not already on personal matters?" I asked her wryly.

She grinned once more and then her face grew somewhat serious.

"Who was your first friend?"

I paused, dumbfounded at the question.

How was I going to answer this? How could I tell her without letting her know of my feelings for my first – and only – friend? Unless Potter guessed what he saw in my Pensieve last year and told her.

"You don't have to answer," Hermione said quietly after I realized I'd been quiet for some time.

I waved her off and cleared my throat.

"Do not judge," I warned before I took a deep breath and said, "Lily Evans."

She gave me a bewildered look.

"Who was she?" Hermione asked.

"Your best friend's mother," I told her.

She looked completely taken aback.

"That's something I didn't expect," Hermione admitted.

"Not many understood our friendship," I said. "But it didn't matter. We stopped being friends at the end of our fifth year. I will spare you details, but needless to say, I lost my only true friend."

Merlin, I sounded like I wanted pity! And she certainly had that pitying look on her face.

"Do not feel sorry for me," I advised her. "I brought it upon myself."

She nodded, frowning, her eyebrows knitted together.

"What about you, Hermione?" I asked her, taking the focus off of me. "Who was your first friend?"

"A girl named Shayla Thomas," she said. "We met in Muggle primary school, but she stopped talking to me once I told her I was going to another school. We had been the outcasts at our school and I was leaving her alone."

I nodded once, telling her to continue.

"I saw her this past summer before I came to Grimmauld Place," she added.

"And how did she seem?" I asked, not really caring for the answer.

"Like I had never existed," Hermione said bitterly. "We had passed one another on the street. She had looked at me, but said nothing. She was surrounded by all the people she had once despised. I wonder how that worked out," she added in an afterthought, more to herself than to me.

"She's a Muggle," I assured her somewhat harshly. "The only people that should matter to you are your wizard friends. Unless you make a new Muggle friend of course," I added hastily.

She smiled at me and we were quiet for a moment.

I thought of telling her the truth right then, that yes, I was a Death Eater, but that I was also a spy for Dumbledore.

Hermione stood, smiling contentedly, putting the chair back in its place in front of the fire. She bade me goodnight and turned to leave. She had reached the door, had her hand on the knob when I called out, "Yes."

She turned her head to look at me, confused.

"Yes what?" she asked kindly, looking as though she was questioning my sanity. I was doing the same.

"Yes," I said again, still not saying more.

She shook her head, squinting her eyes at me, the bewildered look even more prominent now. I looked away, into the fire.

"What are you talking about, Severus?" she asked me.

Deep breath and –

"I'm a Death Eater."

* * *

**Hope you likey! Review, please-y, please! I, er, I kinda like 'em. Like...a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. Mmm...yeppers! Yeah...review. PLEASE? Okay. I shall stop pestering for reviews now and let you go on with your day. Ta!**

**-LovelyAlice831-**


	7. Chapter 7

**I hope you like the new chapter! Yes, I know it's delayed and I know I said I've got papers I should be doing, but I just wasn't feeling it. So I wrote this instead. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Duh.**

**-LovelyAlice831-**

* * *

**~HPOV~**

Wha-?

I stood frozen by the door. I could hear my heart hammering in my head. Severus sat still, his face cast in shadow. He wasn't looking at me; he was staring into the flames.

After a few moments of tense silence, I let go of the door that I hadn't realized I'd been holding in death grip, and stumbled back over to his side.

He looked up at me, a pleading look on his face. And then he swung his legs off the bed and stood gingerly. He looked even worse than I had originally thought, his face drawn and now bruised.

I was shaking my head, flabbergasted.

"But…but are you…?" I couldn't even talk, I was so shocked.

"I can explain everything to you, Hermione, I can," he said earnestly, swaying a bit. He shook his head as if to rid himself of a fly, and then said, "But I can't tell you tonight. I need to…rest. But tomorrow, I'll explain."

"Severus, I…I don't know if I can trust you right now," I said honestly, not looking him in the eye.

"Okay, I understand," he said quietly.

"I'll still help with the potion," I assured him, twisting my hands nervously, "but…I dunno, Severus. I just don't know."

He nodded and I backed away.

"Er…good night, sir," I said quickly before I was practically running back to the Common Room.

Sinking onto the empty couch right in front of the fire, I stared into the orange flames and thought about what Severus had said.

So he was a Death Eater. And after all these years of me defending him, I was proved wrong. He was "the bad guy". But did Dumbledore know about it? My guess was that he did know, but why hasn't he done anything about it?

I was pulled from my musings by a high pitched giggle.

"Oh, Won-Won!" squealed Lavender.

I looked over and saw Ron sitting on a chair, Lavender on his lap. She had her arms wrapped around his neck and I felt my stomach twist horribly. He was grinning and pulled her close to him.

I stood and hurried up to the dorm, where I fell, fully clothed, onto my bed. I pulled the hangings closed around me and pulled my legs up to my chest where I wrapped my arms around them. Resting my chin on my knees, I began to think.

What could I do to make Ron jealous? I could flaunt that I was going with McClaggen. But what would that really do?

I changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed. I thought about what I could do until I fell asleep.

The next morning, I had a fake smile plastered to my face as I walked into the Great Hall. I sat next to Harry and I looked behind me to see Severus and McGonagall standing near us, talking. Severus looked at me, but I averted my eyes.

"Good morning, Harry," I said cheerily, hoping he didn't see through me.

"Er, good morning Hermione," he said. He shot a glance down at Ron, who was currently tangled with Lavender. You couldn't tell who's arms were who's.

"So I asked Cormac to Slug Horn's Christmas Party," I told him. behind Harry, I heard what sounded like a plunger being pulled. Ron was looking around Lavender, staring at me in disbelief.

"I thought you didn't like him," Harry said, sounding confused.

"Oh no, he's very nice," I said, lying through my teeth.

"So you're going with McClaggen?" Parvati asked me, cutting off Harry.

I nodded, beaming. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a faint smile touch Severus's lips, but I ignored him.

"Wow, you like your Quidditch players, don't you Hermione," Lavender said, butting into the conversation. She was remembering Viktor from the Twi-Wizard tournament. I fought the glare, but I shook my head.

"I like really good Quidditch players," I said pointedly, hoping Ron would get the hint.

Harry gave me a look of confusion while Lavender and Parvati huddled close to discuss this news.

"Hermione, what are you doing?" he hissed at me.

I shrugged.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said loftily before standing, heading for the library.

* * *

**~SPOV~**

"Severus, did you hear a word of what I just said?" Minerva barked at me.

In truth, I hadn't. I was too busy watching Hermione and Harry talk about her going with McClaggen.

"I'm sorry, Minerva," I said truthfully, "I must've zoned out. What was that?"

"Oh, forget it," she said, exasperated. She swept away and I walked slowly out of the Hall. It was snowing outside and the halls were freezing, as were the dungeons. If it were possible, they were even colder than the halls.

Heading for my office, I saw Mrs. Norris watching me with her lamp-like eyes.

"Oh, go back to your Squib master," I said grumpily to her. She mewed and then turned, disappearing down the hall.

I pulled a face and let myself into my office. I just wanted to get to my room – and heat.

Pouring myself a glass of Firewhiskey, I settled into my seat and picked up a book, immersing myself into it, counting down the hours until I had to be at Slughorn's stupid Christmas party.

* * *

**~HPOV~**

Fixing my hair back into clips, I then put on a small necklace, slipped into my shoes, and headed down to the dormitory, where Harry was waiting. And so was McClaggen.

I shot Harry an anxious look, who shrugged. And then we left, heading down to Slughorn's party where Harry met Luna.

She wore an interesting dress of pale, shimmery purple. She wore her radish earrings, but she had taken off her other usual jewelry. In fact, she looked really nice.

"Hello Luna," I greeted.

"Hello Hermione," she said as she fell in step with the rest of us.

I noticed that Cormac kept shooting me glances, but I ignored it.

When we entered the party, Slughorn boomed out a greeting to Harry, whose face immediately reddened. He was pulled into the depths of the party, Luna struggling to keep up.

"Let's get something to drink," Cormac suggested. We walked over to a little table that was laden with all kinds of food and a punch bowl. Bottles of Butterbeer sat in cases in front of the table. I stooped and got one and so did Cormac.

"So tell me again why you couldn't do tryouts last year," I asked Cormac conversationally over my Butterbeer. He took a swig of his own before he answered.

"I was dared to sniff some Doxy powder," he said, puffing out his chest proudly. "I didn't tell Madam Pomfrey what I had sniffed, though, because I didn't want to get in trouble."

"She probably knew anyways," I pointed out with a laugh.

"Yeah, she probably did," Cormac agreed, joining in with my laughter.

We finished our drinks and then he asked me if I wanted to dance. I agreed and before I knew it, we were both dancing with everyone else. I was laughing and I could feel myself getting flushed with heat.

Fanning myself with my hand, I shouted over the music, "I need some air. I'll be back."

I turned away before he could say anything and then I was out of the crowd. I spotted Luna talking to what looked like a vampire. It sounded as if she was telling him all about Crumple-Horned Snorkacks while he stared at her exposed throat.

I wanted to warn her, but I really needed to get fresh air.

Shoving open the door, I stepped out into the cool hall and breathed in the air.

So far, the night wasn't going too bad. I was actually having a good time with Cormac, but there was still a part of me that wished it was Ron and not Cormac that I was dancing with.

"Hermione, are you alright?"

I turend and saw Cormac with his head poking out of the door, his face concerned.

I gave him a smile and assured him I was.

"C'mon," he muttered, shutting the door behind him, grabbing my hand in the process.

"Cormac, what-?"

He yanked my arm, pulling me away from the doors.

"Cormac, let go," I demanded, struggling to pull my arm free, but he tightened his grip.

he pulled me along the hall until we reached an empty classroom. Shoving me in, he shut the door hurridly behind him and pushed me against a wall.

"Cormac, no!" I cried, struggling to push him off.

"I thought you were having a good time," he said, his voice muffled against my neck.

Still struggling, I said, "I was – I am, but Cormac, get off!"

Pinning my arms between us, I felt his mouth move up from my neck, along my jaw line, and finally to my lips.

"Cormac, stop!" I shouted.

He let out a cold chuckle and pressed me even more against the stone wall. I could feel the cold from the stones through my dress and I shivered.

"Cormac, get off," I cried again, renewing my struggles. "Please!"

I felt his mouth on my neck again.

"Cormac -" I gasped right before a cold voice cut through the air.

"I believe she asked you to stop," it said.

I felt Cormac's mouth freeze on its way back up my neck. He let me go and stumbled back, looking fearfully at the tall figure.

"Get out of my sight, McClaggen before I take one hundred points from Gryffindor," Severus threatened. "Go. Now!"

Cormac didn't need telling twice. He scrambled from the room and I felt myself sag in relief.

"Hermione, are you alright?" he asked me quietly, moving close.

I nodded, running shaking hands over my dress, straightening it out.

"I'm fine." My voice sounded shaky and unsure.

He nodded, his eyes full of concern.

"Come on," he said. "We have to get you back before you're missed."

I nodded and led the way back to the party where I ducked behind the crowd to find Harry.

"Hermione, what happened to you?" Harry asked me, looking alarmed when I finally found him.

"Cormac," I hissed to him. "He's got more tentacles than a Snargaluff plant."

Harry gave me a bemused sort of look before Severus walked up to us.

"Mr. Potter, a word," he said, sounding not at all thrilled with having to talk to harry. He shot me a dark look and said, "Miss Granger, straighten yourself up. You look as if you've been fooling around. Don't give Hogwarts a bad name."

I nervously straightened my hair as he left with Harry. Severus shot me a look of apology over his shoulder and I smiled small smile, assuring him that I knew he was covering.

With a sigh, I went to find Ginny, who was standing with Dean and Luna and – to my dismay – Cormac.

Grumbling, I decided to leave since Harry was with Severus and the person I wanted to talk to was with the person I wanted to avoid. I was just about to reach the door when it burst open to reveal Filch pulling Draco Malfoy by his collar.

"Sir, I've just caught Mr. Malfoy here sneaking around," Filch growled. Draco struggled to free himself, but Filch held fast. "Says he was invited to your party."

"Okay, I was crashing it!" Draco said angrily, finally freeing himself. "Happy I told you?"

"I'll take care of this, Mr. Filch," Severus said smoothly, sounding calm, but I knew he was beyond angry. What had Draco done to make Severus so angry?

"Certainly, professor," Draco said mockingly.

What? Didn't Draco and Severus normally get along? I was confused, but I didn't have to time to wonder because at the moment that the two left, Cormac had found me.

"Ah, Hermione," he said, beaming.

I turned to look at him, giving him a disgusted look.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Ugh," I said, shoving past him, going deeper into the crowd where I found Ginny standing with Luna.

"Hello Hermione," Ginny said, sounding a little glum.

"Ginny, what's wrong?" I asked her.

"Dean's being pigheaded again," she said as Luna started swaying to the music that had started back up.

"What's he done now?" I asked.

"Everything," Ginny said, exasperated. "I don't know. I just can't really stand to be around him anymore. He's getting a bit overbearing."

I was about to say something to comfort Ginny when Luna asked, "Where's Harry?"

I looked around. Hmm. Where _was_ Harry?

* * *

**~SPOV~**

"Draco, you were almost caught," I snarled into his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he whimpered, not looking me in the eye.

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about," I hissed. "You almost killed an innocent girl. Another stunt like that, and you'll be expelled."

"I don't –"

"Do not play dumb with me," I said, my face inches from his. "People already suspect you."

He let out a whimper and I tried not to look pitying.

He didn't ask for this, although he was being an idiot trying to look like he could do this. The Dark Lord knows he won't be able to do what he has been ordered to and he's counting on that.

I changed tactics from trying to force it out of him to trying to help him.

"If you tell me what it is you're working on, I can help you," I told him.

He flared up.

Shooting me an angry look, he said, "You want the glory to yourself!"

"Draco, this is not the time to be stupid," I hissed at him. "If you do not do a better job of doing what you were told to do, then you will be caught and who knows what will happen to you. And to your family."

Draco let out a cold bark of laughter.

"My family's already in enough trouble," he said darkly. "And I'm not telling you what I'm doing."

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I realized I was holding him up off the ground. I released him slowly and said, "Get back to your Common Room, now, before I take points."

Draco didn't need telling twice. He hurried off down the hall and I sagged against the wall, pinching the bridge of my nose. He was going to get us all killed, I was sure of it.

After a few moments, I headed back to my office and, since I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep tonight, I decided to work on the potion.

Around three in the morning, I stretched and yawned, rubbing tiredly at my face. I looked down into the now-dark blue depths and knew that I was now closer to it being finished than I could've dared hope for.

Going into my quarters, I stepped out of my shoes, got ready for bed, and fell onto my bed where I fell immediately into a deep sleep.

* * *

**~HPOV~**

"Harry, make sure you don't do anything stupid over the holiday, please," I begged him as we walked down the hall to our last Defense Against the Dark Arts class of the year.

"Hermione, I'm not going to be hunting down Death Eaters," Harry replied as we walked in.

I saw Severus passing out papers and I remember that it was a quiz we had taken a few days ago. Taking our seats, Harry and I didn't talk anymore and when class was over, Severus stood close by and said in a quiet voice, "Stay. I need to tell you something."

I nodded and proceeded to pack my bag slowly. When the last person left, I heard Severus give out a weary sigh.

Looking up, I saw he looked even more drawn than before.

"Are you alright?" I asked him, standing. I slung my bag over my shoulder and looked at him worriedly.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me," he said. He looked at me, a faint smile on his face.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"The potion is almost complete," he said, sounding pleased.

"But how?" I asked, confused. We still had weeks to go before that was even possible.

"I stayed up last night and worked on it," Severus said, "so you need not come to the dungeons this evening to work on it. You're free to do as you like."

I bit my lip, but nodded. "Alright. Well, I'll see you later, sir."

He nodded and I left.

I still wanted to know what this potion was for, I thought grumpily as I went to Arithmancy.

* * *

**Well, like I said, I hope you liked it. And sorry for not really having much on Severus. I was more concerned with Hermione at the moment. Forgive me? Well, please review! You have no idea how much I love them. I get all spazzy and stuff. It's kinda funny. Well...until next time, readers!**

**-LovelyAlice831-**


	8. Chapter 8

**Yeah, so...sorry it took me FOREVER to get this up! But I sincerely hope you like this. I'm kind of proud of this chapter! Also, as a side note, if you are like me and like to listen to music while you write/read, I suggest that - if you so wish - during this chapter, look up two songs in particular. They're by the same band: Breaking Benjamin. While I wrote this chapter, two songs effected me: Evil Angel and Dear Agony. So, if you want to, listen to them while you read this absurdly long chapter! **

**Disclaimer: I ain't the greatest woman of all time, k?**

**-LovelyAlice831-**

* * *

**~SPOV~**

After the final class, I decided to take dinner in my quarters, not really wanting to eat with the rest of the school. Just as I finished eating, I saw a silver shape form in front of me.

"Come to my office," the voice of Albus Dumbledore said. "I need to speak with you."

Letting out a sigh, I stood and headed to his office.

Now what has he done to himself, I wondered. I better not have to heal him again….

I swept up to Dumbledore's office, said the password, and climbed the stairs swiftly. After pausing to knock twice, I flung the door and found Dumbledore hunched over his Pensive, his wand out, making the contents swirl.

"Sir?" I asked, unsure of what to do.

He looked up and smiled pleasantly at me. "Ah, Severus! Good, good!"

"Sir, what is it that you needed me for?" I asked him.

"Come, I need to…show you something," he said mysteriously, beckoning me to where he stood at the Pensive.

After a moment's hesitation, I looked into the Pensive and fell into his memories.

I fell into a vaguely familiar place. I looked around, trying to recognize anything, but there was nothing. It was too dark to see anything. Then Dumbledore fell in beside me and I gave him a confused look.

"Where are we?" I asked him.

"I thought that you would like to remember the night you, ah, told me about the Prophecy," he said, sounding cautious.

Frightened, I looked around and suddenly saw my old self emerge from a building, Peter Pettigrew trailing behind me.

"Wormtail, go tell the Dark Lord," I heard myself hiss. Wormtail gave me a frightened look and the Disapparated. When Wormtail had left, I watched myself start to sag as I stood there. And then I straightened up and marched up to the school.

"Do you remember that night, Severus?" Dumbledore asked softly from beside me. I had been watching myself walk away, to get back to the school before Dumbledore for the job interview I had later, and I turned to look at him.

"Of course," I replied shortly.

"Do you ever wonder what might have happened if you never heard the prophecy? If you had never told Peter to tell the Dark Lord?" he asked me as his old self emerged from the building which I know recognized as the Three Broomsticks. His memory self was pale, looking almost frightened. He was walking fast and I remembered: he was trying to catch up to me, to warn me not to tell. But by then, it had been too late. The Dark Lord knew.

"Yes," I said, my lips barely moving.

"Perhaps I should take you back," Dumbledore said quietly beside me and, together, we left the Pensive.

"Why did you show me this?" I demanded. I was shaking with cold fury. Why? Why did he have to dredge up the past? As if my actions that tore me from Lily Evans didn't already haunt me enough as it is.

"I thought you might like to see what could happen if you don't share the full truth with Miss Granger," Dumbledore said simply, crossing to his desk, where he sat down, fingertips together. He peered at me over his half-moon spectacles as if awaiting an answer.

"I have told her…what I am," I said, avoiding his gaze.

"And how did she take the information?"

"She said she needed to be alone a while."

Silence.

I looked up at him and saw him giving me a pitying look.

"Don't think that I-"

"I never said anything, Severus," Dumbledore said calmly. "I'm merely wondering why she needed to be left alone."

"Sir, I told her I was a Death Eater," I said bluntly. "She's bound to be scared with information such as that. But, if she talks to me once more, as we did before I told her, then I shall tell her…more."

"Will you tell her everything?" he asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know," I said honestly.

"Do you love her?" he asked me suddenly.

I stared at him, flabbergasted.

"What?"

"Do you love her?" he asked me again. "It's a simple yes or no answer."

"No, I don't," I said indignantly.

He sighed heavily. "Ah well…I suppose you still love Lily, then."

"Yes."

"Very well. Good night, Severus." He retrieved his quill, dipped it in the ink well, and began writing.

Without so much as a backward glance, I left his office and stormed back to my own.

What the devil did it matter about what would happen if I didn't tell Granger the truth about me? I told her I was a Death Eater, that ought to be enough, oughtn't it?

I kicked a chair, where I watched it skid across the room and then I fell onto my bed, my face in my hands.

He had to bring up the night I heard the prophecy. He just had to. Of course, it's what he does. He makes you remember things you wished so hard to forget just to prove a point.

Just as I stood to pour myself a glass of Firewhiskey, I heard a timid knock on my door.

Puzzled, I put the tumbler of Firewhiskey down and crossed to the door…and opened it to see Hermione Granger, face pale, standing outside.

* * *

**~HPOV~**

"Harry, may I please borrow your Cloak?" I asked him as I watched Ron and Lavender in front of the fireplace. Their heads were close together and they whispering to one another. Ron's eyes flicked up and met mine, and I turned away quickly.

"Sure," Harry said, giving me a confused look. "But why do you need it?"

"I, er, need to talk to Professor Snape," I admitted. "It's something about the potion we're making," I added, hoping he would really think it's what I was going to talk to him about.

Harry nodded and then went to his dormitory to get it. He was back within minutes. I stood as he handed it to me.

"I'll walk you out, okay?" he said in a low voice. I nodded and, once we out of sight of most of the people left in the Common Room, I pulled the Cloak over my head and, together, we left.

"Where will go?" I asked him as he walked along with me.

"I dunno," he said, shrugging. "I reckon I'll just make a circle and then get back in the Common Room."

I nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me.

When we reached the foot of the marble staircase, Harry bade me goodnight, and went back to the Common Room and I continued on.

I had been thinking about talking to Severus about his being a Death Eater for a while, but I had been too afraid to. But, for some reason, tonight I had come to resolution that I would. And I would ask him everything about why he was and if Dumbledore knew.

It grew colder and colder as I descended the stairs to his dungeon office. Once I reached his door, I pulled the Cloak off, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

After a moment, the door opened to an extremely confused looking Severus Snape.

"Hermione, what are you doing here?" he asked me.

I cleared my throat and said, "May I come in?"

He stood aside wordlessly and I walked in, taking in his room once more. It had become familiar to me, almost homey, with the books strewn all over the place, the fire crackling merrily, even the tumbler of Firewhiskey, which it looked as though he had about to pour for himself. There was a chair that looked as though it had been kicked aside and, even though I looked at it questioningly, I said nothing as he motioned for me to sit, and I obliged. He pulled the askew chair back into its place and then sat, watching me warily.

"To what…do I owe the pleasure?" he asked me, sounding ridiculously formal.

"I wanted to ask you…about what you told me a few weeks ago," I said.

"About my being a Death Eater?" he asked me. I nodded.

"Yes. How long have you-?"

He cut me off, holding up a hand to silence me. He raised his wand and muttered, "_Muffliato_," and then motioned for me to continue.  
"It's so no one hears us," he added when I didn't continue. I nodded again and then cleared my throat.

"What I wondered was…how long have you been one?" I asked him.

"Since after I left Hogwarts," he said without hesitation.

"And does Professor Dumbledore know?"

He nodded.

I opened my mouth, but then shut it, not sure what to ask next. Severus caught this and then said, "Perhaps I should tell the story…from the beginning."

"From the beginning?" I asked him.

He nodded. "From before Hogwarts. And I will tell you everything."

I nodded and sat back, waiting.

Severus took a few deep breaths and said, "My mother is Eileen Prince. She married a Muggle named Tobias Snape. Not long after they married, I came along. My father hated wizards and he, in a sense, hated my mother and I. From what my mother used to tell me, he wasn't always like he was. He turned into a drunk when I was five and he would…hit me and my mother. But I always got the worst of it and it was always when she wasn't home.

"One day, when I was ten or so, I saw two girls in the playground. One had red hair, the other had blonde. As I watched, the red haired girl picked a flower, held it out to her sister, and made it move by itself. It was then that I knew what she was." He stopped and took a deep breath and peered at me anxiously.

"Continue," I urged gently.

"That was when I officially met Lily Evans," he said. "I told her what she was and, at first, she was offended. She thought that I was calling her a witch by meaning it as a bad term. I explained to her that I was a wizard and her sister laughed horribly. She knew who I was, where I came from. I didn't like her much, she was a Muggle. But her sister, Lily, seemed interested. The next day, we met at the park again and I told her everything that I knew about the Wizarding world.

"Once, she asked me about Dementors and what they do. She thought she would go to Azkaban for doing magic, but I told her that she didn't have a wand yet, so they wouldn't do anything to her. For the next year, we became extremely close friends and she knew of my…situation at home. But she couldn't do anything about it, either. We were both too young.

"When we got our letters, we met in the park and exchanged them. We were excited, as well we should've been." He gave a dry laugh and continued. "On the train ride in, we sat in a compartment together with three other boys: James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin. I hated James immediately, Sirius not long after. And I knew something was up with Remus, but moving on…."

He paused to pour himself a glass of Firewhiskey and offered me some Butterbeer, but I declined. I was too interested in his story.

After a deep gulp, he set his glass aside and kept on with his story.

"Our first few years weren't very eventful," he said, staring hard at his fingernails. "But it was my third year that I realized that I…that I loved Lily. She was so nice and she was my only true friend. But that was also when I started hanging out with many future Death Eaters. Lily began to catch on but, even though she disapproved of my friends, she still stayed friends with me. And then our fifth year happened."

Here he stopped and didn't continue.

I leaned forward and asked softly, "What happened?"

He looked into my eyes, his black eyes unfathomable. But I could see the pain in them, pain he kept buried deep within so no one could see it, not even himself. He took a great, shuddering breath, and then said, "It was after our last O.W.L. and I was sitting under a tree, completely minding my own business, mind, when James and his idiot friends came over and began picking a fight with me. James lifted me in the air by my ankle and, not having my wand due to him Disarming me, I couldn't get down. And then she yelled at him.

"Lily yelled at James to put me down and he did, but only because he wanted to impress her. But she wasn't impressed. She yelled at him, but I was embarrassed. There I was, fifteen, and had a girl standing up for me. I guess my pride had gotten the better of me, because I called her a 'Mudblood'."

He looked at me, but I said nothing. I knew all too well what it was like to be a called a Mudblood. I nodded at him to continue and he did.

"I tried to reason with her that night, but she wouldn't listen," he said, picking up his glass, swirling the contents inside as he watched. "That was when our friendship was over and it was also when I decided to join the Dark Lord. And I did. For the last two years I was in Hogwarts, I studied deep into the Dark Arts, hoping that, when I joined him, the Dark Lord would take me seriously.

"I joined the minute I left Hogwarts and didn't go back to my home where it was only my father, my mother having died my last year there. I joined the Dark Lord and it went from there. I began to get in so deep, killing people, torturing them, and all because it was 'fun'."

He stopped again and stared into the flames of the fire. And then he stood and paced around the room for a moment before stopping in front of the fire. He kept his back to me and I knew we were coming to something very painful for him. I waited with bated breath. And then he spoke once more.

"One night, Professor Dumbledore was interviewing Professor Trelawney for her position she had now and Pettigrew and I were listening at the door because we were hoping the glean something from Dumbledore. And, just as Dumbledore was about to leave, we heard Trelawney speak in a strange voice and I heard bits of it. I heard that a child would be born, one that could potentially defeat the Dark Lord. Pettigrew and I left immediately and I sent him back to tell the Dark Lord what we had heard, but I made my way up to the school. See, I was supposed to be there for a job interview and I wanted to get there before Dumbledore caught me, but I knew he knew I was there. The door had opened and Pettigrew and I left quickly.

"At this point, I knew Lily and James were married and that Lily was expecting a child. I also knew that what I had heard was meant for them, the Potters. I told Dumbledore immediately, while also promising to turn spy for him. I would pretend to be a loyal Death Eater while, at the same time, handing information of what the Dark Lord was doing to Dumbledore. But it didn't matter. Even though I begged Dumbledore to keep Lily and her family safe, the Dark Lord killed them all anyways…all but the child. He lived,and she had not."

He stopped again and I took this opportunity to ask him a question.

"And this is why Dumbledore always says he has his own reasons for trusting you," I said, sounding breathless. He didn't turn to face me, but I saw him nod. "And this is why you hate Harry, isn't it? Because he lived and Lily didn't?"

"Perhaps," he said shortly. He sighed and then said, "I suppose so. And also because he is, well…James's son. You have no idea how much I loathe him, even in death."

"You hated him that much?" I asked him.

"I still do."

"Why?" I asked him.

He spun around, his face full of fury.  
"Because he made my life hell even though I was already in it," he spat. "I thought coming to Hogwarts would save me, but no. James Potter made sure of that, along with his friends. I thought Lily would be my savior, but no. She married James Potter. She had James Potter's child. Every day that I look into your precious friends face, I am reminded that I lost. You have no idea how much I loved Lily Evans. How much I still do. It haunts me to this day to know that I am the reason she died, that I am the reason why I am now stuck with looking at her son's face…the son that has her exact eyes. They say Harry looks like his father, but he has his mother's eyes. They are not wrong. You have no idea how painful it is to look at them….No idea…."

He trailed off, his face looking haunted. His face no longer held anger, but a terrible sadness. A sadness I knew had haunted him far longer than any knew. He tore himself up over her death, he blamed himself for it. I could tell, I could see it in his eyes, could hear it in his voice when he spoke.

"What…what happened next?" I asked timidly.

He sighed heavily. "I stayed Dumbledore's spy, did things for him. I was put on Quirrell's case and, for my own personal reasons, made his life hell. And the night the Dark Lord returned, I did too, under Dumbledore's orders."

"I remember!" I cried. "You were standing in the Hospital Wing doors right after you shook Sirius's hand, then he left, and Dumbledore asked you if you knew what to do!"

He nodded grimly. "I was almost killed that night. But I was spared after confessing that I, too, thought him gone. He believed me and I am now one of his 'most faithful'. I wish I could get out, but I can't. There's no way I can."

"And what's the potion for?" I asked him. "You said it was for a snake….Do you plan on getting bitten by a snake?"

"No, I do not," he said, cracking a smile. "It is merely for precaution. And I cannot tell you how pleased I am that it's almost finished."

"Is it for…his snake?" I asked and he nodded.

"She is extremely poisonous," he said, "and this needed to be done before he learns of my betrayal. It is likely he'll use his snake on me instead of using the Killing Curse."

"But why?" I asked him as he sat back down in his chair. "Why not just…use the Killing Curse?"

He gave me an amused look.

"Would you like me to die?" he asked, smirking.

"No! No, of course not!" I cried. "How could you even think that?"

He smiled.

"So the potion is for you," I said quietly. "I suppose I should've known."

"Oh?"

I blushed. "I dunno know, but I sort of thought it might have been for you."

"Really?"

My blush deepened and I didn't say anymore.

"Well, there's my story, Hermione," Severus said quietly. "What do you think of me now? Am I evil?"

"No, you are not," I immediately said. "I think…I think you're very brave."

"I'm brave?" he asked, taken aback. "And what makes you say that?"

"Sir, you're a spy for Voldemort," I pointed out. "That makes you brave in my books."

"Perhaps…."

After a few moments of silence, I stood and said, "Well, good night, sir. It's late."

Together, we glanced at the clock that sat on the mantel. It was new, I could tell, and it also read that it was half past eleven. Wow. I'd been here that long?

"Shall we talk more tomorrow, then?" I asked him. Severus nodded and then I left, the Cloak covering me. I hurried back to the Common Room. Once I was safely in my bed, I began to go over what I had been just told.

Severus was good. I had known it all along. I knew he was good. I knew there was a reason why I trusted him. But the way he looked when he told me his story haunted me. His eyes looked so agonized, almost like the pain should've killed him. He was brave. He really was.

Finally, I drifted off in to sleep, but his eyes haunted me even in my dreams. Those pain-filled, agonized eyes that held a lifetime of sorrows filled my dreams.

* * *

**~SPOV~**

Why had I told her everything? I asked myself as I lay in bed, staring up at the stone ceiling. Sleep evaded me tonight, but I knew it going to happen anyways.

Telling Hermione everything tired me greatly, but it was the kind of exhaustion that kept you awake when what you longed for was a deep sleep. But what I didn't know about telling her everything was how much better I would feel. It felt as though a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders after I'd told her everything. And she didn't run, screaming, back to the Gryffindor Tower like I almost thought she would. She stayed calm the whole time I spoke.

And now Dumbledore was not the only one to know of my love for Lily Evans. Her son's best friend now knew, but I also knew Hermione wouldn't tell anyone. I doubted she even spoke of my being a Death Eater to anyone. She was the kind of person who would keep secrets – and even suspicions – to herself until she was told otherwise. She was trustworthy, that I knew. She was utterly, unwaveringly loyal, and she was – even I had to admit – a wonderful friend.

My eyes began to get heavy, almost too heavy to hold open and, with the last peaceful thought that I might indeed have found a new friend, I fell asleep. A blissfully, deep, dreamless sleep.

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**Please review! I would REALLY love feedback on this chapter! Please! And thank you, if you read this! And let me know if you listened to those songs while you read this! Thanks!**

**-LovelyAlice831-**


	9. Chapter 9

It had been a few days since Severus had told me his story and I still felt a little sorry for him. I wondered what it must be like to have to watch the person you love marry the person you hated the most. I shuddered at the thought, remembering Ron and Lavender.

When it was five to eight, I bade Harry goodnight and headed down to the dungeons.

We didn't have much more to do on the potion. We were really close to having it done and I was really happy, but at the same time, I wondered if that would mean that Severus and I would no long talk like we do now.

I walked into the dungeon classroom and, not seeing him, I went ahead and pulled out the ingredients we would be needing that day. When I saw that it was nearing half past right, I glanced at his private room door, I hesitated before getting up and walking over to .

I knocked lightly, rocking back on my heels, expecting him to open the door at any moment, but nothing happened.

Frowning slightly, I knocked again, louder this time, and still nothing.

Maybe he was talking to Dumbledore about something, I thought.

I had just turned away to go back to the desk to wait for Severus to return when he flung his door open.

I gaped at what I saw.

Severus was holding a very full glass of what I assumed was Firewhiskey and it was sloshing over the rims onto his hand and floor, but he took no notice of it. His black eyes were bloodshot and he was looking at me with unfocused eyes. He was glaring when he answered the door, but when he saw it me, his slack face broke into a wide grin and he pulled me into a tight hug. I felt the Firewhiskey pour down my back and I could smell the rather strong smell of alcohol on his breath and clothes.

"Severus!" I gasped, trying to pull away, but he held fast.

"Hermione!" he crowed loudly, finally pulling away. He swayed drunkenly on the spot. I grabbed his upper arm and guided him back into the room. He was laughing madly as he dropped into his chair.

"Want a glass?" he asked me, raising his own to his lips where he proceeded to take a big gulp.

"Er, no thanks. I like to keep my head on straight," I said dryly as he smirked at me over the rim of his glass.

He drained his glass a few seconds later and stood to get more.

I bolted up out of my seat and snatched the decanter of Firewhiskey out of his reach.

"Hermione!" he cried angrily. "I was gonna drink that!"

"I think you've had enough, Severus," I said sternly. He merely grinned at me.

Sighing, I took the glass out of his hand and, along with the decanter, I set htem away from him and then guided him to his bed where he fell onto it.

As I was pulling off his shoes, he started giggling.

"What's so funny, Severus?" I asked him.

"Hey, Hermione, guess what," he giggled.

"What, Severus?" I asked, annoyed.

When he didn't answer, I looked up at him, confused, and saw him glaring darkly into the roaring fire.

"What, Severus?" I asked again, but in a gentler tone.

"I don't want to do it," he muttered as his head hit the pillows. I pulled the blanket over him and then poured him a glass of water.

"You don't want to do what?"

He shook his head and said, "He wants me to do it, but I don't want to. He never listens to what I want."

"Who?"

Severus was silent again, still glaring, when I turned away from him.

"Hey, Hermione," he called out just as I had reached the door. I turned and gave him an exasperated look.

"What?" I asked him for what seemed like the millionth time tonight.

"Nargles stole my milk," he giggled.

I rolled my eyes.

"Have you been talking to –"

A loud snore cut me off and I saw he had fallen asleep.

I watched him for a moment before I opened the door.

Half way out, I turned back again and then stepped back in with a sigh, shutting the door behind me.

I might as well stay, I thought as I sat down in the chair that I now deemed as my own. He might need me in the morning anyways.

I fell asleep as his snoring became softer.

I woke up slowly, aware of a sharp, painful throb that was drumming a rhythm into my head. My mouth felt like it was full of cotton, and I wondered if I stuck my foot on the ground would the world stop spinning.

Sitting up, I let out a loud groan and put my head into my hands.

"How are you feeling?" a soft, timid voice asked from across the room.

My head shot up, making my teeth grit in pain at the throb of protest, and I squinted at the terrified Hermione, who was watching me anxiously.

"What did I do last night?" I asked her, my teeth still gritted against the pain in my head.

Hermione shrugged. "I would assume you got completely drunk. You were in a right state when I got here last night."

I groaned and slowly got out of bed.

"What time is it?" I asked her.

"Erm, half past ten," she replied.

I sagged a bit. I missed my first class, which had been double Defense.

"It's okay," Hermione said, almost as if she were reading my mind. "I, er, sent a house-elf to tell Professor Dumbledore you weren't feeling the best."

"You sent a house-elf?" I asked her. I knew that, two years ago, she had been protesting the use of house-elves in Hogwarts, trying to get them freed, so why did she use a house-elf now?

She nodded. "Er, well, I used Dobby. And he brought us some food, too. And there's some black coffee here, too."

I nodded and shuffled off to the shower.

Twenty minutes later, my head felt clearer, I could actually see with my eyes, and the throbbing in my head was almost nonexistent.

Rubbing a towel through my wet hair, I went back into my room to find it empty. Hermione left a note saying she would be back later to check on me, but that she had classes she couldn't miss.

I sank onto my bed and, ten minutes later, I dressed in grey sweats and a white t-shirt. Well, if I was taking a sick day, why not take it to its fullest, I thought as I sat on my bed and started to read.

Several hours later, there was a soft knock on the door and Hermione called through the door, "Sir, are you okay?"

I marked my place and said, "Yes, Herimone, I'm fine."

She walked in and I frowned at her. "Why would I not be fine?"

She shrugged. "You looked dreadful this morning, Severus."

"Gee, thanks," I said dryly. She smiled at me and took her seat, watching me carefully.

"Professor Dumbledore is going to come see you later," she told me, fiddling with the strap on her bag.

"Oh?" I asked her. she nodded.

"I don't know when, though, but soon…."

"And what did you tell your sidekicks about what you were doing seeing as I'm sick?" I asked her, amused.

She huffed a breath. "I told them that I still had to do the potion even though you were sick."

I nodded, grinning.

After a few moments, Hermione pulled out her homework and began working while I went back to my book. And then I remembered something.

Looking up, frowning, I said, "Hermione, did you do the potion?"

She gave me a devious look. "Of course. I wasn't going to let you handle any potions in your state, sir."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "My 'state'?"

"You're clearly unwell today," she said in a maddening voice.

"I am not," I said defensively. She gave me a smirk and went back to her homework. "What was that look for?"

"'Nargles stole my milk' huh?" she asked me, grinning broadly.

"What are you-?" And then I remembered. I had been giggling like a mad fool and told her that Nargles stole my milk.

She smiled even wider, if that were possible, and said, "Are you remembering things, sir?"

I groaned. "Dear Merlin, I was a fool last night! I even asked if you wanted Firewhiskey!"

"That you did," Hermione said, laughing openly.

I was about to snap a retort when Dobby suddenly appeared, looking scared.

"Dobby!" Hermoine and I cried at the same time.

"What are you doing here?" Hermione asked the elf.

He turned his attention to her and said, "Dobby has come to tell miss that her Weezy is hurt!"

"My…my Weezy?" she asked, bewildered. "What is-?"

"What happened, Dobby?" I asked him, scrambling out of bed. I knew what he was talking aobut. Hermione's "Weezy" was Weasley. And he was hurt.

"Dobby doesn't know, sir," the tiny elf squeaked. "Professor Dumbledore asked Dobby to find Miss Granger and Dobby did, sir."

Hermione gave a small gasp and suddenly bolted out of my room.

"Thank you, Dobby," I gasped as I struggled to dress in my black robes.

Not ten minutes later, I was racing for the Hospital Wing, where I saw Dumbledore, McGonagall, Slughorn, Potter, Ginny Weasley, and Hermione all standing around Weasley's bed. Well, Hermione was actually sitting on the bed.

Dumbledore turned to me and had Slughorn hand me a bottle.

"This was poisoned, Severus," he said, giving me a meaningful look. I sniffed the bottle and smelled Madam Rosemerta's famous Oak Matured Meade, but no hint of a poison.

Frowning, I knew Draco had done this…and not a very good job of it, either. He was getting desperate.

Just as I was about to ask Dumbledore a question, a squeal sounded in the door and girl streaked past me.

"What's wrong with my Won-Won?" she asked, glaring at each of us in turn. Then he eyes came to rest on Hermione, who glared back. "What are you doing here?"

"I happen to be his friend!" Hermione said angrily.

Lavender Brown scoffed. "Don't make me laugh! You two haven't spoken in weeks! Not since we started going out!"

Hermione merely glared and then Weasley started mumbling something.

We all leaned close so we could hear what he was saying, but it wasn't making any sense.

"Er...nee….Er…m…nee…," Weasley mumbled.

I shot a confused look at Dumbledore, who looked just as confused as I felt.

"Er…my…nee…," he mumbled again and both Hermione and Lavender gasped.

Lavender bolted from the Wing while Hermione sat back down next to Ron. She took his hand and Dumbledore ushered us all out of the room.

"Come on," he said quietly. "I think Mr. Weasley is well tended too."

I smiled a tiny smile at him and, together, we went to his office to discuss this new attempt on his life.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry if I got things mixed up. I had the book and the movie telling my two different things I tried to get them right! Sorry if it's not...right...But I hope you all enjoy this AND the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 movie I KNOW you've got! (I don't, yet. It's still in a different state right now...) But have a lovely spring day! Oh. And Happy Birthday, Emma Watson!**

**Disclaimer: I'm a bit young to be Jo.**

**-LovelyAlice831-**

* * *

**~SPOV~**

"You think it was Draco?" I asked him, watching as he paced the length of his office several times.

"I do," he replied. "But his attempts are feeble. He doesn't truly want to do it."

I inclined my head, but said nothing.

"The time is coming," he continued. "Oh yes. It's coming."

He stopped and watched me apprehensively.

I shifted uncomfortably where I stood and said, "Sir, you know I don't want to do it."

Dumbledore nodded, smiling slightly.

"I know that, Severus," he said kindly. "But to harm Draco's soul-"

"And mine means nothing to you, does it?" I asked him angrily. "My soul is to be tossed aside like it is nothing, is it?"

"Severus, you have already damaged your soul," Dumbledore reminded me quietly.

"You think I don't know that?" I spat at him. "And all I do now, I do for you, but you choose to toss aside my soul, damaged though it is, as though it were nothing."

Dumbledore said nothing and I continued.

"Have you ever considered that you ask too much, that you take too much for granted?" I asked him. "Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe, just maybe, I don't want to do this anymore?"

"Whether it has or hasn't is irrelevant," Dumbledore replied shortly. "You agreed. You will do ask I have asked."

"Nothing short of unusual for me, is it?" I asked him.

I turned on my heel and, just as my hand reached the handle, he called out to me.

"Remember, Severus," he said. "You are doing an old man a favor."

I scoffed and hurried out of his office and back to the safety of my own.

I tossed my cloak aside where it landed with a soft flump onto the armchair. I paced for several minutes before I sighed in resignation.

There was no way out of any of this. I had to do. I would have to take care of Draco's deed because I knew he would never be able to do it, just as the Dark Lord knew that as well.

Eyeing my bed, I finally dressed for bed and sank into it, staring up at the dark ceiling, my thoughts chasing themselves in circles. Whatever I did, it would end in murder somehow.

Finally, what felt like hours later, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

**~HPOV~**

"So exactly how did you break up again?" Harry asked Ron at breakfast a few days after Ron had been spotted with me the night he had taken the Felix Felicis potion. released

Ron and I exchanged amused looks and Ron said, "Well, she thought I had been with just Hermione since she couldn't see you because of the Cloak and it just sort of…she yelled at me," he ended with a sheepish grin.

"But I'm glad to be shot of her," he continued, grinning. "At least I didn't have to, well…."

"Coward," I muttered with a grin. Ron caught my eye and we both smiled at each other before he dropped his eyes to his plate of eggs and bacon.

I turned to Harry, who was pushing his own food around on his plate.

"It seemed like a bad night for romance all around," I said.

"Oh?" he asked me, not realy sounding interested.

"Yeah, Dean and Ginny broke up," I said, trying to sound like I saw saying it in passing.

Harry perked up, looking more interested than he should and I grinned.

"Really? Why? What happened?" he asked quickly.

I gave him a funny look before saying, "Oh, just some small thing. Something about how he was always helping her with small things like getting through a door."

Harry nodded and finally took a bite of his food.

Oh, he was so in love! I thought with a beam as Ginny herself passed by. She plopped down on to the bench in front of me and began piling her plate with bacon and eggs, like her brother had before her. she poured herself a cup of coffee and, after blowing on it to cool it down, took a sip. I saw her peek at Harry, who was determinedly not looking at her. soon, I thought. It was going to happen soon.

Later that evening, i made my way down to Severus's office feeling very elated. Ron had broken up with Lavender and Harry and Ginny were so close to being together. It was such a wonderful day! So wonderful I felt I could sing of happiness.

I went straight to the potion, which was the lime green it was supposed to be before adding armadillo bile, the last ingredient, to the potion.

After almost twenty minutes of waiting for Severus to come, I decided to go get him, wondering if he had forgotten the time.

I knocked on his door and he answered almost immediately.

"Oh, are you coming?" I asked him, halfway turned to the potion.

"We will not be working on the potion tonight, Miss Granger," he said formally. "You may go. I will do it tonight. But I expect you to be here tomorrow."

"What-?"

He cut me with off with a look and jerked his head behind him.

Looking around him, I saw sickeningly familiar white-blonde ahir. A hand was resting on the armchair I usually sat in and in his hand was a glass of Firewhiskey.

Lucius Malfoy turned and his grey eyes met mine in an icy cold stare.

"Ah, it's the infamous Mudblood, Granger," he said coldly. "Why is she here?"

"She is doing me a service," Severus said, warning me with his eyes to keep silent. I nodded minutely and his lips twitched.

"Did you choose her for the task?" Lucius asked as he took a sip of his Firewhiskey.  
"No I did not," Severus said, still watching me. "I find her company tedious and overbearing, but I cannot deny that she has been of some help to me. Tomorrow, Miss Granger," he said again.

"Yes sir," I said quietly. I turned and bolted from his office. I heard the door shut as soon as I had turned and I just wanted to be out of there.

Merlin's beard, Lucius Malfoy was out of Azkaban! How?

A break out, I immediately thought as I practically ran up the marble stairs. The Ministry has been hiding the break out!

I sighed as, a few minutes later, I stood in front of the Fat Lady.

"What's new?" I asked myself after I gave her the password.

As I changed into my pajamas later and was climbing into bed, a chilling thought occurred to me: if Lucius Malfoy was out, who else was out?

I shuddered as I drifted into a fitful sleep.

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**I like reviews! ^_^**

**-LovelyAlice831-**


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, I know, I know. I'm absolutely terrible! I really am. I checked the last time I updated...and it's been almost two months. I could give you some excuse, but I don't have one, so...sorry! Anyways, I hope you like this terribly late update! **

**Disclaimer: I'm not Queen Rowling**

**~LovelyAlice831~**

* * *

**~HPOV~**

The fact that Lucius Malfoy had broken out of Azkaban was no surprise to me, if I was going to be honest. I knew Voldemort must have helped his Death Eaters somehow. No, what surprised me was that Scrimegeour had been able to keep the information from the Prophet.

As I ate breakfast that morning, Ron and Harry dragging their feet after a long Quidditch practice the night before, I keep sneaking glances at Severus, but he never once looked at me. Maybe he wanted to pretend nothing had happened, which was perfectly fine with me. But at the same time, I wanted him to acknowledge that Lucius was out of Azkaban.

Ron looked at me, his blue eyes puffy from lack of sleep and he said, "You look worried."

I bit my lip, but smiled. "I'm fine. You look exhausted."

"I am," he groaned, toying with his eggs and bacon. "I'm too tired to eat."

I mock gasped. "Ronald Weasley, not hungry?"

"The day Ron Weasley isn't hungry, we'll see Great-Auntie Muriel be nice," Ginny snorted as she slid into the empty seat across from us. She glanced at Harry, who was determinedly staring at his own plate of untouched food. Ginny looked at me and I gave her an encouraging smile that was missed by both boys.

"Soon" I mouthed. She shrugged and poured herself a glass of pumpkin juice to go with her cereal.

I rolled my shoulders and said, "Well, I'm off to Ancient Runes. See you later."

Everyone grumbled back and I walked off, my bag slung over my shoulder. Just as I reached the second floor, I heard someone call my name.

Turning, I saw Severus walking several paces behind me. Soon, he passed me, but not before I heard him say, "Forget what you saw."

My steps faltered as he continued his pace, his cloak billowing out behind him.

So he wasn't ignoring everything.

Sighing heavily, I resituated my bag on my shoulder and continued on with the rest of my day. As dinner passed, I was slowly growing more anxious about going to Severus's.

When I finally reached his office, I knocked quietly, not wanting to enter if Lucius Malfoy was still there. A few moments later, Severus opened the door and said, "It's okay. He left last night."

I let out a sigh of relief and Severus stepped aside to let me in.

As he shut the door, he said excitedly, "I think it's almost done. Maybe another day or two."

I looked up, shocked.

"Ooh, this is wonderful!" I cried happily. Severus was positively beaming and began to work on the potion.

We worked in silence for a while until the quiet began to drive me slowly mad. Finally, I broke it and said, "Why was he here last night?"

Knowing who I meant, Severus didn't answer immediately. When he did, he said it as he tipped crushed unicorn into the potion.

"He wanted to…thank me," he said shortly.

"Thank you for what?" I asked him, pausing in my work.

"A small matter," was his reply.

"But he was in Azkaban," I pointed out.

"Yes."

"And he's broken out."

"Yes."

"It was Voldemort, wasn't it?" I asked. Severus flinched and knocked his scales over.

As he bent to pick them up, he hissed, "Don't use that name."

"I'm not afraid to use the name, Severus," I said in a hard voice.

"While you are not afraid, others are," Severus said his voice icy.

"Others meaning you?" I asked.

Severus fixed a glacial stare at me and said, his voice the same degree, "Hardly."

"Then why demand me not to use it?"

"Because," was all he said.

"That's not a good enough excuse," I retorted.

"I don't give a damn what is a good enough excuse for you, Miss Granger," Severus snapped. He was glaring now.

We stared each other down, our faces the same expression of anger.

"Get out," he barked suddenly.

I froze. "What?" I gasped.

"You heard me," he said. "Out. Get out. I will ask you to come back when I feel the need to have a student's company. Leave."

"Severus –" I said reproachfully.  
"Do not make me throw you out forcefully, Miss Granger," Severus said, his eyes squeezed shut in anger. "Get out and never enter my office again."

I was angry now. My hands were shaking as I threw my things into my bag, leaving my – his – ingredients on the table.

Stalking to the door, I threw it open and, before I slammed it shut, I turned around and said, "I'll leave the mess up to you so as not to have you be in my presence longer than necessary…_sir_."

* * *

**~SPOV~**

The door slammed shut with a ringing finality and I grasped the table to hold myself steady.

Damn you, Severus. Why must you lose your temper over the most ridiculous things?

I slammed my fist onto the table, sending my pestle flying to the floor. I left it there, too angry and annoyed to even be bothered to move. Damn that girl for being so damned nosy.

It took several minutes to gain control of my anger before I could continue the potion alone. Now, when I had it finished, I wouldn't have her to celebrate with.

"Dammit!" I cursed loudly. "Son of a –"

"Perhaps the use of words ought to be cautioned, Severus," a quiet voice said from the doorway.

I spun, glaring, at Dumbledore's tall figure.

"Ah, I see you and Miss Granger have had a disagreement," he said as if he were commenting on the weather.

"Yes," I said stiffly.

"About what, may I ask?" he asked, moving across the room to sit on Hermione's recently vacated seat.

"A matter of no importance, sir," I replied.

"If that were the case, Severus, she would still be here," Dumbledore pointed out.

"Perhaps."

"How is the potion coming along?" he asked as he pulled out his wand. He gave it a flick and a cup of tea sat in front of him. he picked it up and sipped it while watching me over his half-moon spectacles.

"Well," I said. "It's almost finished."

"Oh, what good news!" Dumbledore cried, setting his cup down. He was smiling happily as I shifted uncomfortably. "A shame, really, that Miss Granger will not be here to celebrate the finishing of this terribly difficult potion."

"Indeed," I said dryly.

"Why must you be so hard on yourself, Severus?" Dumbledore asked me, his tone serious and sad at the same time.

I shrugged and added the last ingredient of the day into the potion. "I hardly know, sir."

"You do know," Dumbledore said, "but you refuse to acknowledge it."

"You speak in riddles," I grumbled.

"So I've been told," Dumbledore said with a smile. He stood, Vanishing his still-full cup of tea, and left without another word.

"Miserable old bat," I mumbled darkly as I began cleaning up. Halfway through it, however, I stopped and decided to leave it there. No one else was going to be coming around and it's a pain to half to pack and unpack it all every day.

Walking into my private quarters, I dressed for bed, climbed into bed, and was asleep instantly.

* * *

**~HPOV~**

"So he threw you out?" Ginny asked as we walked down to breakfast together the next morning. "Why?"

"Well, you know we've become sort of friends, right?" I asked her as two seconds years raced past us, laughing loudly. Ginny nodded. "Well, I asked him why he was afraid to say Voldemort" – Ginny flinched – "and then he told me to get out."

"Just like that?"

"We said some other things," I said, "but they're inconsequential."

"Hardly," Ginny snorted. "But i guess he'll just have to finish whatever it is you two were doing alone."

"Yes, he will," I said darkly as we descended the marble staircase.

"Oh, I have to tell you, Ron's been getting better at practice," Ginny said suddenly.

"And why did you have to tell me?" I asked her, laughing. "You know I haven't the faintest idea what anyone's talking about when it comes to Quidditch."

"Yes, but the not only is Ron getting better, so is the whole team," Ginny said excitedly. "I really think we'll win the match this weekend!"

"Well, good!"

She was still beaming as Ron and Harry dropped into the empty seats opposite Ginny and me.

"Harry, do me a favor," I said as he pulled a piece of toast and jam towards him. He paused and eyed me warily.

"What?" he asked as Ron dived into his breakfast.

"Please don't get on Professor Snape's bad side today," I plead.

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"Just…please."

"Alright, alright, I'll try," Harry said, taking a bite of toast.

I exchanged a worried look with Ginny and then left for Transfiguration early, wanting to talk to Professor McGonagall about the essay we had to turn in. unfortunately, I ran into Severus along the way.

We both froze in our tracks when we saw each other, but then I held my head high, my books clutched tight to my chest, and walked stonily past him. I saw him out of the corner of my eye watch me for a moment before I was out his sight.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I walked into Transfiguration and took my seat, pulling my essay out that I had finished the night it'd been assigned, and read over it until McGonagall walked in. but at the time she walked in, the whole class was filing in behind her, so I left the matter alone. My essay was probably fine anyways, I tried to convince myself as she collected them at the beginning of the class.

After Transfiguration, I dreaded Defense Against the Dark Arts. It was a double lesson, so it sure to be worse. Little did I know how right I was.

After lunch, I followed Harry and Ron in and took a seat between the two, keeping my head down.

"What's up, Hermione?" Ron asked, but I shook my head as Severus walked briskly to the front of the room.

He was obviously still angry and he kept shooting me glares as he barked at the class to be quiet.

"Pop quiz," he said, flicking his wand to the desk behind him, making the stacks of papers rise up and float between the rows. A thick packet of questions landed with a soft flump in front of me and I looked at the questions, all fairly easy for me, but, after glancing at Harry and Ron and seeing their brows furrowed, I realized that maybe this class would be worse than I originally thought.

Finally, after the pop quiz, we barely had enough time to do anything else, so he let out us early, claiming he couldn't stand to be in our presence any longer, and left without another word.

"Blimey, what's got his wand in a knot?" Ron asked as we headed to dinner.

I opened my mouth to reply as both he and Harry were looking at me expectantly when someone at the entrance of the Great Hall caught my eye.

"Harry!" I gasped, grabbing onto his sleeve. "Harry, it's Katie!"

Both he and Ron spun to look where I was looking and, before Ron or I could say anymore, he sped off, immediately engaging Katie in a deep conversation.

"What d'you reckon they're talking about?" Ron asked as we took our seats at the Gryffindor table.

"Oh, who cursed her, most likely," I said.

"Do you think he'll ask her if it was Malfoy?" Ron asked me, scoffing slightly.

"I've no doubt," I replied.  
Harry returned moments later and, without sitting down, said, "I think it was Malfoy who did it."

"Harry," I began, exasperated, but he cut me off.

"I'm going to take some more of _Felix Felicis_ and try and get into the Room of Requirement," he said.

"But that'd be a complete waste of the potion," I cried.

He shrugged and left, Ron and I gaping in surprise at each other.

"Whatever," Ron muttered going back to his food.

A few days later, Harry was still staking out on the seventh floor, but Ron and I gave up on trying to tell him he was acting completely mental. He wouldn't listen to us, so why bother, Ron had said. Secretly, I agreed. He was being bullheaded, but if he got in trouble for doing it, then it wasn't our fault, I reasoned as I hurried off to talk to Professor Vector about a grave mistake I might have made on my last Arithmancy essay.

Later, after Professor Vector assured my essay was perfectly sound, I was back in the common room, working on homework, that I realized it had gotten much nosier.

Looking up from my essay, I saw Harry was crowded by most of his teammates. And they all looked extremely angry and disappointed.

Oh, what's he done now? I thought as I got up and walked over to him.

"What's happened?" I asked Ginny, who was positively fuming.

"Oh, the moron's gotten himself in detention," she spat.

"Is that unusual?" I asked her with a laugh.

"You don't understand," she said darkly. "He has detention this Saturday."

"This…Saturday?" I asked, my mind blank. And then it hit me. That was the day of the –

"The Quidditch match!" Ginny cried, throwing her hands up in the air. "The idiot got himself in detention this Saturday! The day of the last match! And all because of that stupid book of his!"

"Oh no…," I said, looking at Harry, who looked both sad and angry at the same time. I walked over and sat next to him. He ignored me.

"Well, Harry, I won't say 'I told you so,'" I said after a moment. Harry glared at me darkly.

"Leave it, Hermione," Ron said angrily.

"Harry, I told you there was something up with that Prince person," I said, unable to resist the urge to rub it in that I was right. "And I was right, wasn't i?"

"No, I don't think you were," Harry said stubbornly, shooting me a dark look.

"How can you stick up for that book when that spell –"

"Will you stop harping about the book!" Harry snapped. "The Prince copied it out. for all we know, someone used it on him and he wrote it down."

"I don't believe this," I said. "You're actually defending it."

"I'm not defending what I did," Harry said. "I didn't know what the spell would do. I didn't know Malfoy would be….I didn't mean to…."

We sat in silence a moment before Harry spoke again.

"I'm going back to get it," he said.

I gaped at him.

"What?"

"That book's helped me out," Harry said. "I would never have gotten the _Felix Felicis_. I'd never have known how to save Ron from poisoning, I'd never have –"

"– got a reputation for Potions brilliance you don't deserve," I said nastily, suddenly bitter that the book had made Harry better at a class that I was usually top of.

"Give it a rest, Hermione," Ginny barked. She was standing beside the couch Harry, Ron, and I were sitting on and she looked livid. Harry looked up at Ginny gratefully. "By the sound of it, Malfoy was trying to use an Unforgivable Curse on Harry. You should be glad he had something good up his sleeve!"  
"Of course I'm glad Harry wasn't cursed!" I cried, back tracking, stung by this. "But look where using that Sectumsempra spell landed him. He's in detention and I'd have thought, seeing what this has done to your chances in the match-"

"Oh, don't start acting like you understand Quidditch," Ginny snapped, "you'll only embarrass yourself."

I froze, Harry and Ron staring between Ginny and me.

After a moment of stony silence, I stood and said, "Fine. You're right. I know nothing. And since my presence is clearly not wanted, goodnight."

I stalked off with Ron calling out a feeble protest behind me. I cleared up my things that I had left on the table, and walked up to the dorm, feeling miserable.

Why did I always have to rub it in people's faces that I was right? I asked myself as I got ready for bed even though it was only eight. I just always had to be right, didn't I?

After I crawled into bed, I pulled the curtains closed and didn't fall asleep until several hours later.

Now everyone is mad at me, I thought morosely. First Severus, now Harry, Ron, and Ginny.

"I just can't get anything right," I whispered to myself as I stared at the shaft of moonlight that shone through a gap in the curtains.

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**Please review! I know I don't deserve them for this being so late, but...please? They make me happy!**

**~LovelyAlice831~ **


	12. Chapter 12

**I know! Two updates in two days! I'm on a roll! Actually, it's more like, I got back into writing this and now I want to finish it! And yes. It's almost over. :'( But we've still got a few chapters, so never fear! Anyways, I hope you like this! And sorry if I got anything wrong that coincides with the book. I tried to keep it as close as I could but the book was in my room and I didn't feel like getting up to get it. So. Haha, ya gotta deal! Anyways, hope you like it! **

**Disclaimer: We all know who I'm NOT.**

**~LovelyAlice831~ **

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**~SPOV~**

I stood over the boiling cauldron, sweat rolling down my face as I slowly, cautiously, added the last drop of armadillo bile to the now electric blue potion. When the drop hit the surface of the potion, it emitted a hiss and turned a darker shade of blue.

Rocking back on my heels, I gave a sigh of relief and beamed. I had finished it! I had really finished the potion!

"Merlin's beard, I did it!" I said, half laughing, half sobbing with joy. Now I was safe from Nagini if she bit me! Still beaming, I let the potion cool before I put it into a bottle and sealed it off with my wand. I didn't bother labeling it – I knew what it was – and placed it in my private stores.

As I was clearing up the ingredients, there was a gentle knock on the door and Dumbledore walked in.

"Ah, I see the potion was a success, Severus!" he said happily. I dipped my head, still grinning. "Excellent. Excellent." Then he gave a tiny sigh and said, his face somber now, "But I'm afraid I must ruin your joy, Severus."

"Why?" I asked, pausing as I wiped a rag over the now clear space.

"Because, in a fort night, I shall be taking a leave of absence for an evening," Dumbledore said, peering at me with his electric blue eyes, "and I shall be taking Harry with me."

It took a moment before I could speak. And when I did, it was through gritted teeth.

"You're taking Potter with you?" I hissed.

Dumbledore nodded serenely.

"So you tell him what it is you're doing but you daren't confide in me?" I asked, stung by his lack of confidence in me.

"It is not a matter of confidence or trust, Severus," Dumbledore said sternly. I frowned. "It's because this is important for Harry to know and, when the time comes, he'll know what to do."

"There's more, Dumbledore," I said suspiciously.

Dumbledore smiled. "Indeed, there is. But why spoil an evening upset with one another? Come! Let us celebrate your success! I have brought a guest, if that's alright with you."

"Who-?"

But before I could get the question out, Dumbledore flicked his wand at the door, which swung open, to reveal a very nervous looking Hermione Granger, pulling anxiously at her sleeve.

Frowning, I turned to Dumbledore.

"Why did you bring her?" I asked, not bothering to lower my voice. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her face slide into a glare.

"Because I felt she needed to be here," Dumbledore said simply. "She's helped you all year and now, because of some silly row, you've kicked her out, not letting her join in on the celebrations of your finished potion."

I sulked as he led Hermione in where she sat on the edge of a chair he conjured for her. he then gave a flick of his wand and several glasses appeared along with a tumbler of gin and a flagon of Butterbeer.

I snorted and obligingly took my seat, plopping down. I avoided Hermione's gaze and took the drink Dumbledore offered. He poured himself his own glass of gin and we sat in silence a moment before Dumbledore said, "Severus, have you confided Hermione on everything?"

"Everything?" I said as I choked on a bit of gin I had the misfortune of swallowing at that precice moment. Hermione instantly looked at me, her brown eyes curious, her brow furrowed. I swallowed convulsively and said, in a hard voice, "No, I did not."

"And why ever not?" Dumbledore demanded. "She is your friend! You ought to tell her your plans for the end of the year!"

"I would rather no one know, Dumbledore," I said, my jaw clenched.

"You're being silly."

"I am not."

"I think you are," Hermione piped up in a small voice.

"I don't care what you think, Miss Granger," I snapped, making her shrink back into her seat, staring morosely at the flames burning brightly.

"Severus," Dumbledore said sternly. "If you won't tell her, I shall."

"Don't! Please!" I plead desperately while Hermione looked at me worriedly.

"What are you talking about?" she demanded. "What are you doing? Severus?"

I looked at her now and I knew she could see the fear in my eyes.

"What are you doing, Severus?" she asked me again, sounding terrified.

* * *

**~HPOV~**

I felt terrified. If they were planning something that he didn't want me to know then I ought not to know, but…he sounded so scared when Dumbledore mentioned it. What it is that Dumbledore is being so careless about speaking of, but Severus is terrified of even speaking a word of? Is it that bad?

Dumbledore looked at Severus sternly and said, "I will tell her, Severus. If you do not, I will. Tell her now or you aren't the man I thought you were."

"Was I ever the man you thought I was?" Severus threw back, his face livid now. "I've never been the man anyone's ever thought I was!"

"Do not bring up the past," Dumbledore warned.

"I will bring up the past if I damn well please!" Severus spat.

"Severus, please," I pled quietly, making both men pause in their argument. "If…if you don't want to tell me, then don't. It's up to you."

Severus looked immensely relieved and sipped on his gin once more while Dumbledore looked a bit disgruntled.

"Sometimes, Miss Granger, your logic blocks the sense of adventure," he said, sounding annoyed. I giggled and said, "I've been told, sir."

Dumbledore's expression softened into a smile and said, "Well, I think this is enough for one evening. Goodnight, Severus. Miss Granger."

"Goodnight, sir," I said while Severus merely grunted.

When the door shut behind Dumbledore, I turned to Severus and said, "Oh, Severus! Congratulations on finishing the potion! I knew you'd be able to do it!"

"So…so you aren't angry with me anymore?" he asked me, sounding ridiculously like an anxious teen.

"Of course not!" I said, laughing. "I mean, I was at first. You were just suddenly so angry and you threw me out. But it was your choice. It wasn't up to me."

He nodded once and we sat in silence for a while before I stood and bade him goodnight as well.

He would tell me what it was Dumbledore was talking about if he wanted to, I reasoned as I made my way back to Gryffindor Tower. It wasn't up to anyone but Severus to tell this massive secret to and Dumbledore shouldn't have tried to force Severus to tell me.

"It was rude," I said aloud as I reached the Fat Lady.

"Many things are rude, dear," she said sleepily. "Password?"

"_Hippogriff_."

* * *

**~SPOV~**

The two weeks leading up to Dumbledore taking Potter with him to wherever it was they were going crept up so fast, I barely knew it was there until Dumbledore asked me to his study.

"Ah, Severus," he said as I entered.

He wore a traveling cloak over his purple robes and his hand was blackened as ever.

"Tonight, I take Harry with me," he said and I froze. I had forgotten momentarily what with punishing Potter as much as I could in the detentions he had with me every Saturday. "I trust you know what is asked of you."

I nodded.

"Protect the school," I replied tonelessly.

"Correct." He was beaming.

I huffed out a breath and said, "Sir, don't you think you take too much for granted?"

Dumbledore merely watched me, his eyes twinkling.

"I don't, Severus," he replied quietly.

"Perhaps I don't want to do this anymore," I said quickly, harshly. "I don't want to go through with it."

"Whether you want to or not, Severus, you promised me."

"I know I did." Damn me for making that promise. "And you think tonight will be the night?"

"I do," he replied calmly.

"And you're ready, are you?" I asked him bitingly. "You're ready for me to kill you?"

"Of course not," he said. "But I know that I going to die sooner rather than later. Remember: You are doing an old man a favor."

"Some favor," I muttered. He was smiling again.

"Be prepared," he said and I nodded before stalking out of his office. I met Potter along the way and we eyed each other hatefully for a moment before I continued down to the dungeons where I waited on tenter hooks for the moment I would be summoned to fulfill my promise to the headmaster. His dying wish, I thought wryly as the time passed slowly.

Several hours later, there was a knock on the door and Flitwick was there, saying something about Death Eaters and the Astronomy Tower. I knew this was the time.

Drawing my wand, I said a silent Stunning Spell and he landed with a solid thud.

Running out, I saw Hermione and Ginny Weasley standing close by. Without thinking, I told them he had passed out and they ran inside the room while I raced up to the Astronomy Tower, but not before I met the battle between the Aurors fighting the invading Death Eaters. I heard the Aurors and some of the Order calling after me, but I was deaf to them. I heard a loud bang after I began climbing the stairs, wand drawn, but I didn't look back. I was a mission.

"And Alecto, how charming," I heard Dumbledore say, his voice light, polite.

"Draco, do it now," I heard Bellatrix hiss.

"I'll do it," another voice said, this time it was raspy. Fenrir.

"No! The Dark Lord was clear, the boy must do it," Bellatrix said, her voice hard. There was silent where I thought I heard whimpering and I repressed a sigh: I knew the boy wouldn't be able to do it. This was the time.

I stepped out of the shadows where I had been waiting silently and, as soon as I saw Dumbledore, he looked right at me and I saw he was close to death. His face was pale, he holding himself up on the railings, and he was shaking. His eyes were pleading silently with me and I instantly felt sick. It was time.

"Severus. Severus, please."

* * *

**Ah, yes. We're close now. So close to the end. But please review and let me know what you thought of this chapter! I enjoy reviews. They make me happy!**

**~LovelyAlice831~**


	13. Chapter 13

**Alright guys...when you read this...let me know what you thought! And I'm so sorry that it took me forever to get this written and I'm sorry it's kind of short! Also, I added in scenes from the movie as well as adding my own things (I wanted to make it move faster), so let me know your thoughts!**

**-LovelyAlice831-**

* * *

**~HPOV~**

"Hermione, look out!" Ron yelled as he Stunned his own attacker.

I dodged the curse and threw one back, catching him right in the face with the Stunning spell. He keeled over and I ran to Ron's side, who had just pulled Ginny away from another Death Eater, Disarming him as he pulled Ginny away.

"We have to find Harry," Ron shouted as Neville ran past, running after a Death Eater who was laughing manically as they ran for a staircase.

"Neville, leave him!" I shouted right as the Death Eater ran up the stairs, Neville close at his heels. Next thing I knew, Neville was thrown back with a bang. He clutched his stomach as another commotion broke through the fight.

"Severus, hurry!" I heard Lupin shout. "There's no time. Hurry!" he shouted again as they ran for the staircase as well. There was another bang and they flew back just as Neville had done.

I ducked as a curse shot over my head and I heard a scream of agony, but there was no time to see who it was who had gotten hurt. This battle was getting worse and I needed to make sure Ron and Ginny were okay.

Several minutes later, there was a shout and several Death Eaters raced down from the Astronomy Tower, including Draco and Bellatrix Lestrange. Severus was leading the group and, as he ran past, he shot me a look of misery before racing out of sight. There was no time to follow him like I wanted to because a snarl ripped through the air a split second before a scream of agony.

I saw Bill crumple to floor as Fenrir stood over him, wiping his mouth. He was grinning and then he turned, running in the direction of his companions.

Ron, Ginny, and I started fighting our way over to Bill just as Harry shot out from the staircase, leaping over a still fallen Neville and Bill.

"Harry, where did you come from?" Ginny asked as Harry sprinted past, cursing a Death Eater as he ran.

Ron and I exchanged confused and worried glances as he ignored us completely, rushing out of the oak doors.

As he disappeared, it was then that I realized it was silent save for the few moans of agony that were coming from the wounded.

The Death Eaters had left.

Ron and I rushed to Bill just as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley reached him, Fleur not far behind.

"Ron! Hermione!" Mrs. Weasley cried as we skidded to Bill's side. "What happened? Why did Severus leave with the Death Eaters?"

I shrugged and Ron merely looked down at his brother, his face unreadable.

"Ron, he'll be okay," I murmured to him as I touched my hand with his. He didn't look at me, but I saw his lips twitch and he said, "Thanks, Hermione."

"Anyone who was injured," McGonagall's voice rang out, "needs to have Madam Pomfrey look you over."

I looked up at McGonagall and walked over to her.

"Professor, I don't think Bill can move," I said quietly. "He was…well, he was attacked by Fenrir."

"PROFESSOR!" a voice shouted.

Everyone spun around to see Ernie MacMillan and Hannah Abbot, who had tears streaming down her eyes, rushing over to where we stood.

"MacMillan! What is it?" McGonagall asked, concern in her eyes.

"Professor…you'd better come see…."

McGonagall let Ernie and Hannah lead the way and Ron, Ginny, and I hurrying along in her wake.

We walked out to the base of the Astronomy Tower only to find it already crowded.

"What are they looking at?" Ginny asked me as we neared it.

Terror clutched at my heart because I had finally caught a glimpse at what everyone was looking at. Broken sobs echoed around the base of the tower and I had to hold back my own sob. Beside me, Ron and Ginny gasped simultaneously. They had seen it too.

"Wha' are they all lookin' at?" came a booming voice over the quiet sobs. "Wha's that at the base? Yeh see it Harry?"

My breath hitched and Ron put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him.

Hagrid stopped beside us but Harry kept going. He stopped just before Dumbledore's body and stared down at it before he collapsed right there, the sound of his crying reaching us all. Ginny made an involuntary movement before lurching forward to go to Harry's side where she dropped to his side and pulled him into her arms. Ron pulled me even tighter to him and I felt the tears fall freely from my eyes and I heard Ron sniff above me.

Everyone stood in silence, crying, as they watched Harry fall apart before the fallen headmaster.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw McGonagall lift her arm, but I didn't look. I was watching Harry. And then, suddenly, everyone else was raising their arms and I realized they were lifting their wands to the sky, the tips illuminated, pointing them at the Dark Mark that hovered over the tower.

Ron and I raised our own wands together and, moments later, the Dark Mark faded from the sky.

* * *

**~SPOV~**

"My lord, the headmaster is killed," I murmured, my nose almost touching the wooden floor, Nagini slithering close beside him.

"By your hand?" his cold voice asked.

"Yes, my lord," I replied.

"Good, good," he said.

It was silent a moment and then his cold voice shouted, "LUCIUS!"

There was a clatter and, soon, Lucius was hurrying over to his Dark Lord's side. He dropped to the floor, in a position identical to my own.

"Yes, my lord?" he asked, his voice shaking.

"Your son do not do as I asked, Lucius," the Dark Lord said, his voice silky. "Is your son a coward?"

"No-no, my lord!" Lucius said quickly. "No, he is not!"

"Then why didn't he kill the old man like I ordered him to?"

"I-I don't know, my lord," Lucius said. He seemed to realize that he was treading dangerous waters.

"Perhaps he sympathizes with Potter. Perhaps he no longer wishes to serve me."

"Never, my lord!" Lucius said, daring to look up.

The Dark Lord was silent a moment before he barked out my name.

"Yes, my lord?" I asked, keeping my face to the floor.

"Stand, Severus."

I obeyed him, wary of what he was planning to have me do.

"Severus, show Lucius what happens to Death Eaters who do not obey my every command," the Dark Lord said softly.

"My lord?" came Lucius's broken voice from the floor.

I looked down at the shrunken figure, loathing what I had to do, but if I didn't do it, then I would be in the same boat as Lucius.

I pulled my wand out of my pocket and pointed it at Lucius, keeping my hand steady.

"_Crucio!_"

Lucius let out a scream so loud, I had to focus so as not to break my concentration.

The Dark Lord let out a cold laugh and, before he walked out of the room, he turned around and said, "Do not stop until I have Bellatrix come in."

I gritted my teeth, but nodded.

A phantom smile crossed the Dark Lords features before he walked out, the door closing the a loud snap.

What have I gotten myself into? I asked myself as I kept the curse on Lucius, who was still writhing on the floor, no sound coming out now. His mouth was open in a soundless scream, tears of agony falling from his gray eyes.

* * *

**~HPOV~**

"And he never mentioned this to you?" Harry demanded as we sat at the edge of the lake, across from Dumbledore's marble tomb.

"No, Harry, he didn't," I said almost wearily. "He never said a word."

Harry let out a breath of frustration and leaned back against the tree we sat under.

A breeze riffled through the leaves and I looked up at Hogwarts, sorrow filling me.

"I can't bear the idea of never coming back," I said quietly. "How can Hogwarts close?"

"Maybe it won't," Ron said. "We're not in any more danger here than we are at home, are we? Everywhere's the same now. I'd even say Hogwarts is safer, there are more wizards inside to defend the place. What d'you reckon, Harry?"

"I'm not coming back even if does reopen," Harry said after a moment of silence.

I nodded a little sadly while Ron gaped.

"I knew you'd say something like that," I said. "But what will you do then?"

"I'm going to go back to the Dursley's once more, because that's what Dumbledore wanted me to do," Harry said. "But it'll be a short visit, and then I'll be gone for good."

"But where will you go if you don't come back to school?"

"I've got to track down the rest of the Horcruxes," Harry said. He was looking at Dumbledore's tomb, his green eyes sad. "That's what he wanted me to do, so I'm going to do it."

We were silent for a moment before Harry said, "I'll let you all know where I am, though."

"Harry, not this again," I said, smiling. "You know we're coming with you."

"What? No!" Harry said, looking between Ron and me.

"Mate, it was never a question of whether we were coming with you or not," Ron said forcefully.

"Harry, you said to us once before that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. We've had time, haven't we?"

"We're with you whatever happens," Ron said and I nodded fervently and then I laughed.

"You don't really think you're going to be able to find all those Horcruxes by yourself, do you?" I asked him. Harry let out once chuckle and I smiled with him. But then my face grew serious and I said, "You need us, Harry."

He nodded and the three of us looked out over the lake just as a bird called out.

We looked up to see Fawkes flying over, his song sorrowful.

"We can do this, Harry," I said softly and Ron nodded.

"You're brilliant," he said, smiling. "You're both brilliant."

* * *

**So review, please! And no...this is NOT the last one! There is one more chapter...So...I'll leave you like this for a bit before I upload the FINAL chapter of A Life So Changed!**

**-LovelyAlice831-**


	14. Chapter 14

**First off! I used to be LovelyAlice831...I've changed my name to TheTragedyIs13 because I really can't stand that old name anymore. So...here's my new name. Sorry if it's confused anyone!**

**This is only one chapter and it's rather short. I actually had only planned one more chapter after the one I just put up, but I felt that I needed to put a little bit of Severus's situation up here because, well, I've honestly wondered myself how he managed to fool TDL and such. Plus, I figured Hermione would still trust him even after not knowing about his plans to kill Dumbledore, so...But I hope you like it! Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't have the same brilliance of mind as Jo. I wish I did...but I don't.**

**~TheTragedyIs13~**

* * *

**~SPOV~**

"Severus, once this finally goes into action, you will be appointed headmaster," he said, his voice making me shiver minutely. "Thicknesse has already been Imperioused. He will be acting as Minister once Scrimegeour is killed."

"And who is to kill him, sir?" I asked him, avoiding his red eyes.

"I will have Yaxley dispose of him," the Dark Lord said thoughtfully. Nagini slithered around his feet, her tongue flicking out at me.

"And about the night Potter is to be moved?" I asked him, fearing retribution for the questions I was asking.

"You will be accompanying the Death Eaters. Once you spot Potter, you must tell me," the Dark Lord said and I nodded. "Stand."

I stood up, still avoiding his gaze.

"Now, when you get back to Hogwarts," he began, but I cut him off.

"But my Lord," I protested. "I will be killed instantly."

"No," the Dark Lord said. "Will have the Carrows go with you. I believe Alecto will be teaching Muggle Studies and Amycus will teach Dark Arts."

I nodded.

" Those teachers will be wise to know not to protest," he said quietly. I nodded. "Now leave. I need to plan alone."

I nodded and walked to the door.

"Oh, and Severus?" he called after me. I paused. "Send in Bellatrix. I need to discuss a few things with her, along with Rodolphus."

I nodded more time and left, doing as he requested.

Bellatrix sneered at me as she passed by me into the room I had just left.

I needed to get back to Hogwarts. I needed more instructions from Dumbledore before we go through the plan.

I Disapparated back to Spinner's End and, relishing in the quiet of the house, I sank into the leather armchair and flicked my wand lazily at the empty grate, a fire now roaring, filling the room with warmth. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"If I make it out of this alive," I said aloud, "it will be a miracle."

I sat there in silence for what seemed like hours until an owl tapped on the window.

Getting up, I crossed the room and opened the window where the tawny owl hopped inside, its left leg extended.

I untied the letter and it immediately flew off again. But I paid it no mind. The tiny handwriting was familiar and I immediately broke the seal.

_Severus,_

_I'm not sure this is wise, sending you this letter, but you are still a friend and I still hope I can trust you. I sincerely wish I can, because, otherwise, this letter is pointless. I just hope that this past year has left some mark on you and you won't turn me in, killing me._

_I need to tell you what I plan to do because, if I don't tell someone and put this all down in writing, I'll lose my nerve._

_I'm modifying my parents memories so the Death Eaters won't find me through them. Harry, Ron, and I are going on a mission that I can't tell you about and, even if I could, I wouldn't being that you are in such close confidence with Voldemort.  
__But now I have a question to ask you, Severus._

_Why? Why did you kill Dumbledore? You told me everything, Severus. You told me that you were a spy for Voldemort, so why did you kill Dumbledore? Have you any idea the enemies you've made now? People were reluctant to trust you, yes, but they trusted you. And so did Dumbledore. Perhaps I don't know you as well as I thought you did, which is sad, really, because I truly thought of you as a wonderful friend, Severus._

_You may reply to this, it doesn't matter. But also, I will be at the Burrow next week because, once I modify my parents memories, I'll have to leave. I've already asked Ron if I can stay there, so that's all settled. But Severus? Don't tell. Please! I'm begging you, as a friend, don't tell anyone about these plans! I'm putting trust in you, Severus because I still do trust you, despite your lying to me._

_Love,  
__Hermione_

Severus stared down at the letter and felt sadness wash through him.

Dumbledore had told him to never tell anyone the plan, not even Hermione, which was sad. Hermione could be trusted and she, in turn, trusted him inexplicitly. So much so that now she feels that he has lied to her.

Severus let out a roar of frustration, crumpling the letter up and tossing it into the fire, more out of anger than anything, but also to destroy evidence of what she said.

"What tangled, twisted web have I gotten myself into?" Severus asked as he watched the letter burn slowly to ashes.

* * *

**Please review! You have no idea how much they make my day!**

**~TheTragedyIs13~ **


	15. Epilogue Part 1

**Alright guys! I'm back! Actually, I've dragged out this last bit and...I HATE THOSE COMMERCIALS ON ABC FAMILY WITH THE ANIMALS! WHY? Sorry...I have it on mute due to the fact that I want to see a Deathly Hallows trailer. Hey! If you review this, tell me what you do when you see a trailer on TV. I completely freeze until it's over. Haha! But moving on...I actually thought this would be the last chapter, but I reckon it's not. This is actually an epilogue and there will be two chapters (hopefully) and then A Life So Changed will be completed! It makes me sad, but...you all have been great! And I hope you like this chapter! **

**~TheTragedyIs13~**

* * *

**~HPOV~**

"Hermione, c'mon," Ron muttered as we walked into Moaning Myrtles bathroom.

I looked around, marveling at how much things hadn't changed, like I somehow had been expecting them to. Turning to Ron, who held the broom close to his side, I said, "Nothing's changed."

He gave me a quizzical look.

"Did you expect it to?" he asked me as he set the broom down, turning to face the cluster of sinks.

I shrugged. "I guess I sort of thought Snape and the Carrows would have really made this place look like trolls came through and smashed the school to bits."

"That hasn't happened," Ron said, a look of deep concentration on his face.

"Yet," I added. He said nothing.

I kept silent as he tried to work out the Parsletongue used to open the Chamber and, after several tries, the entry opened. Ron picked up the broom and turned to me.

"I'll go first, you follow after, okay?"

I nodded and he jumped into the black hole. After about ten seconds, I jumped after. A scream escaped my lips as I hurtled through the black tunnel. After what seemed like forever, it leveled out and shot out, landing on a pile of dead rat bones.

"Ugh!" I exclaimed, jumping up. I brushed at my clothes and looked at Ron, who was staring down another tunnel.

"This way," he said, walking at a brisk pace. I hurried to keep up with him.

"Ron, where are we going exactly?" I asked him.

"No idea," he replied. "I'm just following where Harry and I went the first time we came down here. But you weren't here then."

"Yes, I was Petrified," I replied darkly.

"Do you remember anything from then?" he asked as we reached a pile of rubble that blocked most of the wide tunnel. Only a small hole that looked as though someone had dug it out was there to let us through.

"No," I said as Ron lifted his wand and removed a bit more of the rubble, making the hole a little wider. "I don't remember anything."

"Huh," was all he said as he lifted more rocks out of the way.

"Did you do this before?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Remember when we told you Lockhart tried to erase our memories and it backfired?" he asked me.

"Yeah."

"Well, he hit the wall and it collapsed part of the ceiling," Ron said. "Harry was on the other side and I was here with Lockhart. I had to dig out the hole while Harry saved Ginny."

"Did you expect them to be together?" I asked him quietly when he finally lowered his wand, the hole now big enough to fit us.

"No," Ron answered truthfully. "I reckon I always thought Ginny just had a bit of crush on Harry. I thought it would go away. But it didn't."

"And then Harry fell in love with her."

"That, I never expected," Ron said with a chuckle as he began to climb through the hole. He grunted as he slid through. And then he was out of sight for a second before he popped back up, his face grinning. "C'mon then."

I grimaced but climbed through. A rock cut into my back, but I gritted my teeth against that pain and slid out of the hole, right into Ron's arms.

I blushed and backed out of his grasp. He was still grinning as we walked forward for a few more minutes.

"Do you think they'll last?" I asked Ron as we walked to who knew where.

Ron shrugged. "Ginny loves him. I just hope Harry loves her as much as she loves him."

"I think he does," I replied with a knowing smile.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Ron demanded.

"I'm just saying that Harry loves Ginny," I said defensively. "You might not have seen, but he kept pulling out the Marauder's Map when he thought no one was looking. He stared at it for hours and I'm sure he was staring at Ginny, wondering what she was doing. He missed her, more than he ever would dare let on."

"And you missed me," Ron asked softly as we came to a halt in front of a round, metal door with snakes that had emerald eyes that seemed to watch every move you made.

"I did," I admitted. "I love Harry and all, but not as much as -"

"Not as much as what?" Ron asked, smirking.

I slapped him playfully and said, "Open the door."

Ron, still grinning, walked to the door and hissed out strangled Parsletongue and the snakes moved, making a clicking noise, and another snake went around the other snakes and the door opened with a slight creaking noise.

Ron and I exchanged looks before climbing through the door and down into the chamber.

Snakes lined each side of the stone walkway while water surrounded the walkway. Up ahead was a large stone head of Salazar Slytherin. Its mouth was open and, right at the heads base was the skeleton of the basilisk.

Both Ron and I stopped and starred at it, our mouths hanging open.

"Harry killed that thing?" I asked as we started moving slowly towards it.

"Yeah," Ron said, sounding awed. He walked forward to the skeleton and crouched down at its mouth. He pulled out a few teeth while I pulled Hufflepuff's cup and set it down on the ground.

Ron handed me all the fangs, which I put in the bag, but one. He held out the last fang and said, "Here. You do it."

"No, I can't," I said, terrified. What would happen when I stabbed it? Would it do what the locket did?

"Yes you can," Ron said, his voice quiet with encouragement and trust. I took the fang and raised it up. After taking a deep breath, I plunged it into the locket. It slid out from under the fang as a great wall of water spiraled up.

I scrambled up, Ron at my heels, and we ran straight for the door as the water surged right at us.

"RUN!" Ron bellowed.

We raced back up the ladder and, just as we leapt out of the circular doorway, it slammed just right as the water hit it. The water started leaking from under the door, but Ron and I were already racing back to the wall of rocks. He lifted me through it first and came right after me. We ran back to the tunnels where Ron picked up the broom. He climbed on and I got on after him.

We flew out of the tunnel and shot out into the bathroom. We rolled onto the stone ground and slowly stood up, shaking.

"That was close!" Ron gasped and I nodded as the sinks put themselves back together. At that moment, Moaning Myrtle flew out of one of the stalls, her face angry.

"Who's in my bathroom?" she demanded. And then she saw the two of us standing by the sinks.

"Ron?" she asked, clearly surprised. "Hermione?"

We each smiled weakly.

"Hey Myrtle," I said, still smiling at her.

"Ooh, where's Harry?" Myrtle asked, her face eager.

"Er," Ron and I said together. Where was Harry?

"We don't know," Ron said truthfully.

"Shame," Myrtle said. She flew higher and then hovered right over us. "There's a fight brewing, you know. I'd hurry up and find Harry if I were you."

"What do you mean?" I demanded while Ron gaped.

"I heard it from the Grey Lady that Harry talked to her right after he got into Ravenclaw tower," Myrtle said happily. "She told me he was looking for you."

Ron and I exchanged anxious glances then ran out of the bathroom as Myrtle shouted, "TELL HARRY TO VISIT ME SOON!"

I rolled my eyes as we raced down the halls…and right into Harry.

"Blimey!" Ron cried.

"Where have you been?" Harry demanded, every bit as breathless as Ron and I.

"In the Chamber of Secrets!" Ron said excitedly.

"What?" Harry asked, completely thrown off. "Why?"

"Well, the basilisk fangs," I explained. "Only, the Chamber didn't like me stabbing the cup. We were almost killed by the water."

"What?" Harry asked again.

"It doesn't matter," I said, brushing it off. We had more pressing matters on our hands. "Have you found out where Ravenclaw's diadem is?"

"The Room of Requirement," Harry said triumphantly.

"Oh?" Ron asked.

Harry nodded.

"Listen, McGonagall and the other teachers are preparing the school against Voldemort," he said. I bit my lip. "They don't think we'll get out of this without a fight. She's had the suits of armor take battle stations. And Snape's ran."  
He said this last bit to me, his green eyes full of hatred.

"Harry…," I began reproachfully.

"Hermione, I know you trust him, but I don't!" Harry said vehemently. "He sold out my parents. He killed Dumbledore. I don't trust him."

"But I do," I said quietly.

"When's the last time you talked to him, Hermione?" Harry asked me skeptically.

"Harry, we've been in hiding!" I exclaimed in exasperation. "I've only talked to you and Ron!"

Harry glared at the floor while Ron broke in and said, "Wait, the school's getting ready for battle?"

Harry nodded.

"Well, what about the House Elves?" he asked, looking from me to Harry and back again.

"What? You want them to fight?" I asked him. And this was why wizards angered me. Always have the servants do the dirty work for them! Lazy, good for nothing-

"No. We need to get them out," Ron said earnestly. "I mean, we don't want any more Dobbies do we?"

My mind went blank with shock. Without thinking, I launched myself onto Ron and kissed him fully on the mouth. Ron wrapped his arms around me and we swayed.

After what seemed like hours later, Harry's voice broke through.

"OI! THERE'S A WAR GOING ON HERE!" he bellowed.

Ron and I broke apart, staring at him.

My heart was pounding and everything in me was shouting in disbelief that I had actually kissed Ron.

"I know, mate," Ron said, sounding as dazed as I felt. "So it's now or never, right?"

"I know, but just…just hold on, okay?" Harry said, grinning awkwardly.

Ron nodded and released me. We were both blushing furiously.

"Come on," Harry said. "We need to get to the Room of Requirement."

I nodded and we raced to the seventh floor.

**~SPOV~**

"My lord?" I asked, terror running through me.

"Harry will be coming, I have no doubt of it," the Dark Lord said, caressing Dumbledore's wand. Nagini floated above his head, its great ugly head looking at me as it flicked out its tongue.

"My lord, why don't I go and find him," I asked. I needed to talk to Potter. He needed to know. If he doesn't know, then he won't be able to do what is needed to save this world. As much as I hated the boy, I knew he needed to know. I needed to find him.

"No," the Dark Lord said silkily. "No, he will come to me."

"But if I could just go and find him-"

"I said no!" the Dark Lord shouted, his cold voice piercing through me. "He will come to me! I know Potter! He won't like people dying for him. He will meet me in the end."

I nodded and stood back. Bellatrix sat in a corner, keeping quiet while the Dark Lord and I talked. Only now did she seize her chance.

"My lord?" she asked, her voice a caress as she said his name. I held back the disgusted look that I knew would be crossing my face if I didn't keep it in check. "My lord, may I go fight? The half-blood Tonks will be there along with her mutt of a husband. Please, my lord?"

"You will have your chance, Bella," he replied. "But wait. Let the other Death Eaters go first. They are replaceable. You, Bella, are not."

Bellatrix glowed with happiness as tears of joy filled her eyes.

"Of course, my lord," she whispered, bowing low. "Of course."

Without another word, the Dark Lord left the shack, leaving me with Bellatrix. She turned to me as soon as he was gone and said, "Why does he trust you?"

I shrugged. "Must be all the years of service and information I gave him while here at Hogwarts."

"He's wrong to trust you," she said, her lidded eyes suspicious.

"Are we going over this again, Bella?" I asked her patronizingly. "Do you not trust the Dark Lord's judgment?"

"I never said that!" Bellatrix cried.

"You implied it," I pointed out.

She huffed a breath, crossed her arms across her chest, and slammed back into the wall, glaring at the dirty floor.

Several moments later, the Dark Lord walked back in, his red eyes only on Bellatrix.

"You may go fight," he said. Bellatrix bolted to her feet, grinning manically. "Go kill the mutt and his wife. Leave none alive on your way to them."

Bellatrix nodded and raced out of the shack, cackling evilly as she went.

The Dark Lord turned to me and said, "Just a little longer, Severus. Just a little longer."

"My lord, what-?"

"You shall see," was all he said before he left again, shouting a warning to me over his shoulder that I wasn't to leave the shack.

Terror coursed through me once more. I as good as had my death sentence now. And Potter will never know what it is he has to do.

I put my face into my hands and groaned.

How could I have been so stupid?

The Dark Lord's voice echoed over the school at that moment, calling Potter to him before he killed everyone who hid Potter. He called off his Death Eaters and told the school to tend to the wounded.

"Midnight," the Dark Lord said. "I will be waiting."

Silence fell over the grounds before the Dark Lord entered the shack once more.

"Severus," he whispered.

"My lord?" I asked, unable to keep the terror from my voice.

"I have a problem I need to discuss with you, Severus," he said, his cold voice quiet and, therefore, deadly.

"What is it?" I asked.

He held up Dumbledore's wand, staring at it curiously as he turned it round and round in his long, pale hands.

"Why does this wand not work for me, Severus?" he asked, his red eyes looking right into mine.

_Oh hell,_ I thought, horrified. _He knows the truth._

* * *

**Okay, so I added in that awesome clip that I saw yesterday with Ron and Hermione in the Chamber. I hope that's okay. It's more dramatic, so I like it. :) And like I said, this is one of two epilogue chapters. Review and let me know what you thought of it! And please, tell me how you think it's going to end! I love reading them! And I love reading reviews. I don't think you understand how much they make my day. I grin like a fool. AND tell me your reactions when you see a DH trailer. AND - if you wanna - let me know if you're going to the midnight premier OR if, you, like me, are going to an all day Potter-a-thon at your theater. Ooh! I'm so excited! I get to see Chamber of Secrets (which I'm watching right now) and Prisoner of Azkaban in theaters! YAY! Okay. I'm done jabbering...WAIT! I lied. If you like watching fan videos on YouTube, PLEASE check out my channel! It's TheTragedyIs and, yes, the recent videos are of me chatting about nothing in particular, but still. I make videos. I have a few in line now, so...BUT, most importantly...REVIEW!**

**(I'm going as Hermione in DH2 for the premier/Potter-a-thon. ^_^ EEE!)**

**~TheTragedyIs13~**


	16. Epilogue Part 2

**This is now the last chapter in A Life So Changed. Enjoy.**

**~TheTragedyIs13~**

* * *

**~HPOV~**

"Harry, where are you going?" I asked him. We were still shaking from the Room of Requirement and Ron was silent now. Fred's death had silenced us all.

"I need to go," he said as he walked out of the Great Hall.

"Harry, no!" I cried as he walked out.

"Hermione, I have to," he replied as we walked across the rubble covered grass. "I just…I have."

"No, Harry, you don't," I plead.

"Then come with me," he said suddenly, turning to both Ron and I.

"Why?" Ron asked, his voice empty of emotion.

"I…I need you guys," he said quietly.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"I heard a Death Eater say Snape was with Voldemort in the Shrieking Shack," Harry said, starting to walk again. "So if that's where Voldemort is…."

"Harry, you aren't turning yourself over, are you?" Ron demanded, his voice now filled with anger and disbelief.

"Yeah, I am," Harry said. "Look, the sooner I do this, the sooner this can all be over. All you need to do is kill his snake and all the Horcruxes will be taken care of."

"Harry, you can't!" I cried as we walked swiftly to the Whomping Willow.

"I can and I will, Hermione," Harry said. He pulled out his Invisibility Cloak from an inside jacket pocket and threw it over us. "Besides, it doesn't matter. He isn't even fighting. He's letting everyone else fight for him."

Ron lifted a stick to the knot on the tree and we walked into the entrance.

We had all grown so much that we now had to crawl through the tunnel instead of the crouched position we had before when we came in here four years ago.

We reached the opening into the Shack only to find it blocked. Then, overhead, came Voldemort's cold voice.

"I have a problem I need to discuss with you, Severus," he said.

"What is it?" came Severus's voice. I could hear the terror in it and I immediately wanted to comfort him. He was my friend after all, even if we haven't spoken since the letter I had sent him last July.

It was silent for a moment before Voldemort spoke again.

"Why does this wand not work for me, Severus?" Voldemort asked, his voice quiet and deadly.

I bit back a gasp of terror. Severus was in serious danger. He had a death sentence, I could tell, and I could do nothing to save him. He didn't even know I was there. I was so close to him and he didn't even know it. tears started falling from my eyes as I listened.

**~SPOV~**

Oh hell, I thought, terrified. He knows the truth.

"What do you mean, my lord?" I asked him, feigning ignorance.

"This wand does not do as it is promised it should," Voldemort replied. "It does not perform extraordinary magic."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "You have done amazing magic with that wand."

"No, I have done my usual magic with it," he replied thoughtfully. "I am already extraordinary, but this wand is much like my own. Very common and dull. Why does it not give me the magic is promised, Severus?"

The answer wasn't to be answered. He let it hang in the air.

_Perhaps because you're already so powerful that the wand doesn't even matter anymore?_ I thought as he paced around me. I almost cracked a smile, but I held it back, knowing what danger I was in.

"Perhaps I am not the proper owner, Severus," Voldemort said quietly. "You are, after all, the one who killed the old fool."

_Dumbledore_, I thought sadly. _The only one who knew the truth._

"So it is you I must kill."

I froze, my blood turning to ice in my veins.

_And I'd never even had a chance to take that potion yet_, I thought numbly. _Oh hell._

**~HPOV~**

"So it is you I must kill."

The words cut me to the core.

No! I wanted to scream. Don't kill him! Don't! If the stories of the wand are true, then…then wouldn't Draco be the true master of the wand?

I was beginning to feel desperate. I had to save him. I had to. I couldn't let him die. Not like this. Never like this.

I twitched involuntarily as I heard Voldemort begin to walk once more. Harry had his ear pressed right up to the blocked entry way, his eyes wide and fearful. I looked at Ron, who was gaping in horror, his blue eyes wide.

Severus couldn't die this way. He just…he couldn't!

"So it is you whom I must kill, Severus," Voldemort continued. "You are the true master of this wand, not I."

"My lord, please!" Severus begged. "Let me fetch Potter! I'm sure I can persuade him to-!"

"I said no!" Voldemort screamed. "I told you, Severus! He will come to me! No one will need to get him!"

I looked at Harry, whose face was no longer terrified, but determined.

Oh, Harry…no! Don't do it, I thought. I knew he couldn't hear me, but he looked at me and I hoped my face could convey my thoughts. He looked away as Voldemort continued to pace.

"I cannot deny," Voldemort said, "that you have been a very faithful servant. I value that, Severus. I always value loyalty."

"My lord…."

There was silence for what seemed like ages before there was a flash of light and a two thuds. A strangled gurgle echoed through the Shack as Voldemort said, "Come, Nagini."

My breathing hitched as Voldemort's steps echoed overhead. Then they stopped.

"I regret it," he said coldly before walking out of the shack.

I shoved at Harry, who lifted what was blocking the entrance out of the way.

"Hurry," I gasped.

Harry heaved himself into the room and then pulled me up.

I ran to Severus's side where I saw him lying on the floor, soaked in his own blood, covering a deep gash on his neck.

"Her…mione…," he choked out.

"Oh, Severus," I whispered in a broken voice. Tears were falling freely down my face as I took his hand in mine. "The potion? What about the potion?"

Severus shook his head as Harry dropped down on his other side just as something more than blood ran out. It was silvery white and gaseous.

"Take…it….Take…it…," Severus gasped.

I conjured a vial for Harry, who put it right at Severus's leaking thoughts.

While Harry filled up the vial, Severus looked at me, his face fearful.

"I'm…sorry…," he gasped.

"Shh," I whispered.

He turned to Harry and, with a shuddering breath said, "Look…at…me…."

Harry did and, after a mere few seconds, I felt Severus's grip slacken in the hand I was still holding. He was gone.

A cry escaped my lips and Ron pulled me tight to his chest as I sobbed loudly over my fallen friend.

_Oh Severus_, I thought. _May you see Lily again. May she know all that you did to protect her son._

Ron pulled me up and we followed Harry out wordlessly.

It was all over. Severus was dead, among other great warriors who fought for the good.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," Ron whispered as we clambered out of the whole.

"Me too," I said.

He kissed the top of my head as we trooped into the castle.

Just as we crossed the collapsing threshold, I felt a warm breeze that had nothing to do with the night cross over me.

I smiled and looked up at the sky.

"Goodbye, friend."

**The End.**

* * *

**I'm so sorry to anyone who hated the ending! It's just...I didn't want to change that part of Jo's story and I didn't want there to be an opening for more, if that makes sense. Otherwise, my mind would've kept going on it. Plus, this also shows that there aren't always happy endings.**

**Also, I had to rewrite this a bit because I realized a grave error. I had forgotten about the potion this whole story was based off of. As Severus says, he didn't take the potion. Also, I've heard (and I believe it's true) that Severus was not actually killed by Nagini. He was killed by Voldemort performing a silent "Sectemsempra" on Severus, so the potion wouldn't have worked anyways. I'm also really sorry to those who were confused as to why I didn't use the potion and why I left it out completely. It was honestly a simple mistake. I was so caught up in writing this ending that I forgot about it. I also knew he wouldn't use it and I never explained that in here. I'm so sorry! Forgive me?**

**So...if you hated this...I'm sorry. If you still like this. Thank you. Review your thoughts, please! Thank you for reading!**

**~TheTragedyIs13~**


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